Tuesday, October 31, 2006

My current favourite song :)

I've listened to it about 200 times since getting it a couple of days ago :) The kids love it and it seems to calm Phoenix down during his fussy times and really? Who doesn't like Pooh!

Return to Pooh Corner

"Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon
But I've wandered much further today than I should
And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood

So help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do
Got a honey jar stuck on his nose
He came to me asking help and advice
From here no one knows where he goes
So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there
How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear

Help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

It's hard to explain how a few precious things
Seem to follow throughout all our lives
After all's said and done I was watching my son
Sleeping there with my bear by his side
So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going
I swear that the old bear whispered "Boy welcome home"

Believe me if you can
I've finally come back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
What do you know
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin
Back to the ways of Christopher Robin
Back to the days of Pooh"

I'm back at the House of Pooh... and there is no where else I'd rather be :)


Three year olds. They are evil incarnate. I swear that Jasmyn and Olivia have been stolen by aliens and replaced with tasmanian devils. Ones that hate their parents. Between the two of them there was repeated screaming in this house today over the most menial stuff. Jasmyn didn't want to paint or decorate a goblin, Olivia was not getting a turn to speak, Jasmyn pee'ed on the toilet seat, Olivia didn't want to stop riding on her truck, Uncle Jeff put soap on Jasymn's hands after she had already washed them...

Devils I tell ya. Devils.

Aforementioned three year old just got up to go pee and complained that Eyore was missing... she's now tucked back into bed and there she better stay. I hear the aliens are out in full force tonight.

Phoenix (knock on wood) went to bed at 10:00pm again tonight. Woke at 11 for a quick nurse and then back to sleep. It was a big day for my boy today! Wake up at 10am... pee all over mommy and queen sized bed during a diaper change, nurse a million times, pick up big sister at school in new snowsuit (keeps him toasty warm) nurse a million more times, refuse to nap, roll over a dozen or so times, whine a bit, cry a bit, whine some more, smile, laugh, coo and giggle. Add some drool, pee, poop and snot... and that's our day. I truly love being a mom :)

Miss Madeline had her Halloween party today at school. She had a great time and came home with some plain chips and a few chocolate bars. She brought home tons of art work that are now all over my windows.

We had Robyn and the crew over for pizza tonight. It was even better than normal. Then Jeff helped the kids (sans Olivia... sent to bed early for screaming at mommy repeatedly) carve their pumpkins. I need to tidy up still from the grayson tornado (lol) but that will wait till the morrow.

It's 1:30am and I should go to bed... it's just so nice and quiet with only jeff and I around.

Monday, October 30, 2006


Tired today. I was tired yesterday too. I think it was all the chocolate I snarfed. I always feel like crap when I don't watch what I eat (well I DO watch it... as I snarf it) so back on track today. Just had my organic oatmeal with brown sugar and raisens and some pineapple juice with my cod liver oil pill (oh yum.)

It's Madeline's halloween party at school today so I baked some double chocolate with chocolate chunks muffins and stuck a tootsie roll in the middle of each one. They were good. Contributing to my sugar crash (see paragraph above.) Maddy's wearing her pony costume :) She wanted a mozzerella and orange pepper pita for lunch today and a WHOLE apple (cause all the other kids bring theirs whole...) a pinapple juice box (her first one for school ever!) and a blueberry yoguart for snack. Duotang is packed, box of organice crispy treats packed (for when other kids bring group snacks that she can't have) and extra outfit packed (our girl plays hard... and wet apparently.)

Olivia is at the table making a pumpkin out of orange poster board and black shapes. She cut out her own shapes and is now glueing them on. Tonight we'll carve the big pumpkins as a family. Phoenix is sleeping...

Speaking of sleep (knocking on wood) He's gone to bed around 10:00-10:30 for the last four nights. And last night because of daylight savings time he actually went to sleep at 9:30!!! I could get used to this. Before I was nursing him around 10 and he would nap for a bit and then be up until 2am. Now I put him in our bed as soon as he's asleep... if he wakes we turn on his music and pat his back and he goes right back to sleep. I like this. He usually starts waking to nurse about 2-3 hours later but that's cool. I get a bit of time to read or just stretch out on the couch... or fold laundry (I know... I'm a wild woman!)

I gave Phoenix some pulsatilla for his snotty nose last night. It seems to help.

Dammit I wish I could stop burping col!!! I like fish. I really do. But to burp it even when I have not eaten it is just really gross. I'll have to try freezing them. I've heard that helps.

We went to value village yesterday. I got some good deals! I found Madeline two pairs of jeans (in EXCELLENT condition) on paid 2$ for one pair and 4$ for the other. I bought Phoenix a blue fuzzy sherpa Winnie the Pooh snow suit in perfect/new condition for $7. He's getting one for Christmas but he needs something warm for now when we are going back and forth to pick up Maddy from school. I also picked up a pair of old school Robeez booties in navy (in good condition) for Gray for $5!!! Robyn kept saying how she wanted a pair for him but couldn't justify the $40 for a boy that can't wear them outside seems how he's already walking. But for $5 if he only wears them as slippers that is a great deal :) Jeff bought two brooms, two identical dishes for water and salt (alter items). Maddy got a pair of fisher price binoculars, Olivia a crocidile grabber thing that she has already got her fingers caught in twice... good haul altogether I'd say!

It's desperately trying to snow outside and not being successful. GOOD. I really need to move far south.

Well off to boob the newly awakened babe.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Samhain and stuff

Yesterdays ritual went great. Jeff did a wonderful job and there was a fair bit of power and emotions that came out of it. I spoke the names of Baby Violet and Jericho and bawled.. of course. I didn't even realize how much the anniversary of Jericho's death was bothering me but it is.

The food was awesome. We all sat around and watched "Over the Hedge" while we were eating dinner. Charlene brought a brown bean chili, Paul a ceasar salad, Katrina a fruitish salad, we did hot dogs, hummus, chips, taco chips, pretzles, juice, water and pop. Michelle brought dessert. Shannon brought buns. I love pot lucks!

Jeff ended up at the er late last night. His testicles were swollen to four times the size and even though his is circumsized it looked like he was not because of all of the swelling. He couldn't even pee straight! He has an infection (no kidding) and is on Cipro now. I'm not even going to reccommend not taking the rx... you don't mess around with infections like that. I'm going to get him to do GSE, tto and arnica gel and tabs as well. Hopefully that will help.

We've got to go get raw milk today and drop it off at Robyn's. Jeff has to drop off his prescription and we have to hit Save-on for yoguart, tahini and rice milk. I should get going i suppose.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


We had a great night tonight! The kids were beautiful and the dance was awesome! The five of us danced the night away (okay until the dance ended at 9pm). Jeff had Phoenix in the sling and they danced like crazy. Maddy did ballet most of the night and WON the prize for the best dancer!!! There was only one prize given out and she won it! The kindergartener! She got a big fuzzy black and purple spider. So cute! Unfortunately Liv's heart was broken because she didn't win a prize. So her and I went into the hallway to talk about it and she said "I'm going to go in there and dance even faster so I'll win a prize too." sigh... poor tyke. So needless to say that my "fast" dancer will recieve a prize tomorrow when I go shopping. I am so proud of my girls :)

After the dance we went to the evil McDonalds for some food. We were all so hungry that it didn't even matter that it was McDicks. hey... we all slide sometimes. They were a hit there with their princess costumes.

When we got home Janet (jeff's sister) had called. Their new baby Ella was born on wednesday and she had a ton of breastfeeding questions. I think I answered them all. I was tickled that apparently Darryl had said throughout the day "what would Tammy say? How does she do it? What would she do?" lol!

Jeff's cleaning the downstairs right now. I'm not getting him or I to do a huge clean before tomorrow cause it will just get trashed anyways. The bathrooms are clean, the carpet will be vaccummed and the floors swept. Toys picked up and a general tidy. Good enough!

Phoenix is in bed and I am bushed. I should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Ballet, grocery shopping, making foccacia and hummus, preparing for the ritual... I do this to myself why?

Friday, October 27, 2006

We've got the white stuff...


It's snowing to beat the band out there. I think there's already a couple of inches. The girls wanted to go outside to play of course so out we went. I need to find their snowpants!!!

Got a blender and some boys clothes today from freecycle. That was nice. The blender is old but all metal with a glass container. Those old blenders always work the best and last forever!

I got Maddy's Elizabeth dress hemmed for the dance tonight so she won't kill herself. I'm letting her wear my wedding tiara as well and she's tickled about that! So then I had to find something to appease the little person... she gets to wear pretty hair combs of mine.

Phoenix is asleep on him sheep skin, on the floor, on his tummy, covered with a blanket. He sounds even worse today! He can hardly breathe or nurse with this snotty nose. I just called Robyn and I need to pick up some pulsatilla for his sinuses. Hopefully then he'll be able to nurse and breath a bit better.

Looks like the snow might be lessening a bit... hopefully.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I'm all alone...

A cute pic of my boy... see how happy he is to be pushing up!

Jeff's out at the pagan coffee meet tonight. The girls are in bed and Phoenix is passed out on a stack of blankets on the floor. I was nursing him laying down while watching survivor and he konked out. It's uber cute :)

I'm having a painful day. This first period is kicking my ass something fierce. Large clots, major cramps, tons of bleeding. You know what? I'm done with the whole reproductive process... just shut it down would ya?

Olivia had a good day at preschool and brought home a "full moon" painting. That will get pinned up beside Maddy's sunflower that she brough home yesterday. I really don't have enough walls for two kids in school.

Tonight Jeff warded the house (we've been meaning to do that for a bit) and the yard. We wanted it done before the Samhain ritual.

Wow I'm tired. It's hard keeping my eyes even open at this point. I think I might lay down with my boy and have a nap...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

double sigh...

My baby just screamed himself to sleep... in my arms... again...

He takes about three seconds to go from Happy to SCREAMING. Then he will not nurse to calm down. No he has to scream.

I feel sorry for the little guy :( So he's in bed and I imagine he'll wake up sometime soon; calmer and ready to nurse.

Mother Goose was good tonight. I told my first story ever and it was a hit. Chatted with Robyn a bit. They were heading out to coffee tonight. I wish!

Note to self... adopt a 16 year old to watch kids so my hubby and I can get out more often ;) Nah. I really don't have a huge wish to be out all the time. I kinda like kickin back with Jeff, kids in bed, us just chatting. Or watching tv together. Or working on insane riddles together (www.weffriddles.com) we play pass the baby until he finally falls asleep. It's nice. And cozy. And what I signed up for. He is such a good husband and father :) I'm hopelessly in love with him and looking forward to being 80 and still hopelessly in love :) ... /sap

edited to add...

Phoenix woke up after 1/2 an hour happy as a little clam. So I went and nursed him, kissed him and he went right back to sleep. Poor little duck.

Jeff and I got all of our alter tools consecrated for the Samhain ritual on saturday. That took quite a while but was incredibly satisfying and energizing. We really need to start doing rituals outside of the Sabbatts.

It's 11 am

And my whole house is sleeping... except for me (right here) and Madeline (at school)

Jeff is snoring away on the couch. Olivia is still passed out in her bed and Phoenix (after nursing at 9:30) is still asleep in our bed.

It's nice and quiet.

I've gotten up, had a shower, eaten some bread, hummus and blueberry yoguart for breakfast and am now just enjoying the peace and quiet.

It snowed last night. Fucking hell. I really really really hate snow. I hope Maddy's warm enough for recess and lunch time. It's pizza day at school today so my normally hummus and veggies, or organic pb on homemade whole wheat girl is eating pepperoni pizza, a rice crispie treat and chocolate milk. Blerg. One day won't kill her.

I messed up. Again. I bought a big box of oatmeal (instant because IT WAS FOR ME and I was feeling lazy) and jeff started feeding it to madeline in the mornings without telling me. So.. she's been pretty psycho and hard to handle for the past couple of weeks. I kept thinking it was food dye related but could not figure out what! Yah... for the record? Maple and brown sugar oatmeal has carmel food colouring in it.

Nuff said.

Mother goose tonight. Hopefully the little puking boy is better or not there. That was way too much nastyness for me to handle. You know what? If your kid looks green and punky KEEP THEM THE FUCK HOME. Sniffles, snuffles, coughs... I can handle. Keep the puke in the home. Not in the classroom.

I have puke issues though. Maddy's only ever puked twice and Olivia once (sicknesses I mean) and I think Maddy's first one was because she gagged on something. The second times were when we had the norwalk virus a couple years back. That was nasty.

So I got my period yesterday. I made it to almost 5 months this time. You know? It's not fair. He does not use a soother, no supplements, no food, no water, nurses 12-1000000 times a day. Does not sleep through the night and uses me for all his pacifying needs. There are some moms who have babies that nurse ONCE a day, are three years old and they still can't get their fertility back! Damn I wish I was one of those...

Jeff's recouperating nicely from his surgery. I thought I would be more distraught about it but I really am done. Done done. I feel done. I don't feel any longing for more kids. I'm done. It's really nice to feel done.

I babysat Gray yesterday. Poor little duck was sick with a cold (everyone is) and was so tired. He just started to bawl so I rocked him, sang to him and he fell asleep. It only took about 15 minutes! I think Robyn was suprised that he actually fell asleep... what can I say? I have the magic touch (or voice... or rocking chair...)

Lazy day I think. I might make my hubby do some housework... ;)

Monday, October 23, 2006


Sent to me by a friend :)

Bold the things that you have done! Here's mine...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror.
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life

Sunday, October 22, 2006

It's a new day...

He finally fell asleep screaming in my arms after about 20 minutes :( I tried to nurse him, sing to him, pat him... he just wanted/needed to scream. So I held him tight, rocked him back and forth and sung "Baby Mine" to him. When he finally stopped crying he looked into my eyes... smiled... coo'ed and then passed out. What. A. Nut.

We slept on and off for around 10 hours with him only waking twice to nurse. I'm feeling better.

Perhaps today will be a good day :)

I am sick and tired...

of being a cow.

You know? It's just not that fucking nessesary to nurse every single 30-45 minutes for the entire night... and then the entire day... and when you are NOT nursing you need to bitch. Whine. Cry.

I know he's a growing boy.

I know he has a cold.

I know he's teething.

But if he does not BE QUIET and GO TO SLEEP I might sell him to the lowest bidder.

It's 1am of course... the time when I am just sick of being a mom. For the past three nights I've been going to bed right when he does, getting up right when he does, he's been napping in my arms, in the sling when we're out, being held when he's awake.

I need a break. I need like two hours when he's asleep. In my room. WITHOUT ME.

I'm getting a fucking cold and I need just not to be touched for a minute.

Jeff's sore after his surgery so he's trying to take it easy. I wish the kids would let me take it easy.

Downer post... oh well.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Ever so slightly... amused

After bitching about Phoenix's sleeping he actually went to sleep at around 12:30ish last night. Him and I were in bed playing and talking from about 11pm (he really likes being covered with a play silk and the "peek-a-boo" that ensues) but at around midnight I started nursing him. He played the "latch on latch off" game for a bit and then settled to nurse. He pulled off, smiled at me, turned his head and closed his eyes. Down for the count... YES! He actually ONLY NURSED ONCE from 12:30 to 9:00am! I feel rested for the first time in a month.

Tomorrow is the big day. Jeff's vasectomy. I've got him some ice packs. I've stocked up on Advil liqui-gels. He's good to go. He took next week off to recouperate so that will be a nice break.

Next wednesday is Maddy's schools first pizza day! She's stoked ;) Then on friday there is a halloween dance...

"yes dear"
"you dance right?"
"and I dance... and livy dances... and phoenix would dance if he could"
"so... lets go to the dance! as a family! It will be fun!"

so dance we shall ;)

The saturday following it we are holding a samhain ritual at our house combined with a Halloween party for the kids. That reminds me that I should make an announcement to the board for helpers with a main meal and snacks.

It's a dreary rainy day. Livy has preschool and Robyn and kids are coming for dinner tonight. Chilli and fresh bread. Cucumber slices and cheese. Yep we're high tech and high cuisine in this house ;)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Why on earth can't I ever get to bed before 2am. I WANT TO BE IN BED BEFORE TWO AM. Currently Phoenix is FINALLY falling asleep... in the pouch... on my chest. Sigh. He's fighting it big time so I am swaying back and forth as I type this... lol.

Today was a good day. Jean, Elisabeth, Alex and Robyn, Gray and Jassy came over. The little ones were in preschool till 3:30 so the big girls got a chance to play by themselves. They dressed up as princesses, make bracelets and had a tea party. They had a fantastic time! Poor Gray though kept getting locked out of the room ;) No boys allowed apparently.

I made some sloppy joes with organic ground beef on home made whole wheat bread, home fries and cucumber slices for dinner. Oatmeal chocolate chip muffins for dessert. I made some hummus tonight for Maddy's lunch tomorrow (she requested it) so on the menu is Hummus, pita triangles, celery, cucumber, orange peppers, grapes for snack and a bottle of rice milk. I love the fact that she eats a healthy and varried diet.

Talked to Robyn for about an hour and a half tonight. I love talking to her. I hope that her hubby gets his head out of his proverbial ass and wakes up to see what a wonderful wife and mother she really is. He'll lose her and then he'll be sorry. No twinkie, single friend or video game is worth losing his wife over. And that's all I'll say about that. Or this rant will get very long...

Dammit I wish Phoenix would just SETTLE. He's wiggling all over the place currently. Just go... to... sleep. Now. Now would be good. Really.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Soooooo tired

I got next to no sleep last night. Between Phoenix being awake every hour and not being able to sleep until about 5 am worrying about Robyn, I am bushed. Apparently Mike is home according to Rose; who called this morning asking me what the fuck was going on. She had all the information anyways (which I made sure to find out before I said anything) so I just commiserated with her. She got no sleep last night either. I imagine Robyn is in the same boat. Damn... we need to head out to a spa for like a month or two.

Maddy has early dismissal today at 1:30. That sucks. lol.

Olivia is watching Babar. She slept in until about 10:30! Phoenix is still sleeping in bed.

I need some coffee. Big time.

What a night...

When I went over to Robyn's today this afternoon. Things were tense. Things went from bad to worse and Mike took off. I spent some time with her on the phone tonight letting her vent and supporting her. It breaks my heart to hear and see how upset she is. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything better, make it the way she needs it to be. Make it so she had a partner in life... I've offered her a place to stay if she needs/wants it just to get away.

We actually did see Chris and Nansi tonight. They invited us over for roast beef and we brought a salad and some buns. It was wonderful. I actually had a really good time chatting with nansi and letting the kids play. She got some Phoenix snuggling time; I could tell she enjoyed that. The boys (jeff and chris) got to talk shop and dissapeared downstairs for a bit. It was a nice evening. I was very pleasently suprised.

Jeff had to see a client tonight so I did bedtime with the girls. Packed Maddy's school bag and her lunch (pb and honey on whole wheat, all-bran bar, mix of dried kiwi, pinapple, mango and almonds and rice milk) I hope she likes it. Phoenix is ACTUALLY IN BED! I put him down at about 11:15 and not a peep yet. Very nice.

I'm bagged... I can't sleep though. I wish I could be with Robyn right now to comfort her. If Jeff was not working I so would offer to be there with her right now. I think I'll invite them for dinner tomorrow night.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sunday lazy sunday...

Phoenix finally cried himself to sleep in my arms at about 2:30am. I nursed him, cuddled him, offered the other side... rock-a-byed him, rubbed his tummy, patted his back... offer the other side again at which point he started to scream. So I layed down with him in my arms and rocked/shushed him for about 20 minutes until he finally gave out a final whimper and passed out. Mommy once again must have missed that very limited window of time in which to get him to sleep without him screaming. Can I say that I am SO tired of him not sleeping without sounding terribly ungrateful for this gift of a precious little boy?

He slept mostly ok for the rest of the night. Lots of nursing. We got up at around 10:45 (well I got up... he slept until noon) to physcho kids. Running, yelling, being a nuisance. Is it time for bed yet? They have settled down a bit and are now playing down stairs.

We went and picked up some puzzles off of freecycle, picked up a half gallon of raw milk which I gave to Robyn to try, dropped off photoshop at the library (we... borrowed it) and dropped off the plate at Michelle's from turkey last week. When we walked into the house our bread was ready and it smelled like a bakery. Yum!

We were supposed to do something with Chris and Nansi today but
1. they'll probably bail... because they always do
2. I really don't feel like hanging with them because...

1. they always bail. It irritates me.

I have no time for friends who are only friends on their terms. When they have the time. When they have the energy. When nothing else better has come along... not my style.

So Robyn mentioned getting together and we'll probably do that instead. I prefer her company :)

Baby needs a boob... what else is new?


I was reading on mothering.commune tonight and there was a thread about kids school lunches. We (Maddy and I) have been talking about lunches and how her lunch differs from other kids. Apparently only her and the twins are the ONLY kids who don't bring juice to school. She does not drink juice at home so why would I send it with her? She has a nice water bottle so why change what's working? I asked her if she wanted me to send juice and she said no... she likes her water and besides "water is better for you mommy. Juice just rots your teeth."

We are also one of the only families that has not had a warning about lunch items. Her teacher insists on a no junk policy. No lunchables, no pop, chips, candy... no "fake" fruit (roll ups, fruit snacks) ... you get the point. Not stuff I would ever dream of feeding my kids for lunch anyways. She normally gets a sandwich of natural pb and honey on homemade whole wheat bread, raisens, fruit, yoguart. Sometimes carrots and hummus or celery. Last week I packed her a hard boiled egg and that was a huge hit. I just really don't get why nutrition is not more of a priority for families???


I have a brutal yeast infection.


so I currently have a clove of garlic shoved up my yoni. It's supposed to work wonders... we'll see ;)

I also have a brutal tooth ache.


Well off to boob the babe... yes he's STILL UP.

Friday, October 13, 2006

All about me... as usual ;)

1. Explain what ended your last relationship?
Hmmm... he started sleeping with someone else and then broke up with me over the phone.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
5 days ago

3. What were you doing at 8 am?
yah... sleeping

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
eating clodhoppers and watching Wed dreams on showcase

5. Are you any good at math?
yes. Especially algebra

6. Your prom night?
rocked. The night was spent in a hotel room (really creepy crappy one) getting drunk with my boyfriend at the time

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Famous? Apparently Anne Murray is like my moms third cousin (should I be admitting this?)

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
I refuse to succumb to the myspace phenomenon

10. Last thing received in the mail?
a notice from LLL telling me to renew my membership.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
raw cows milk, water, coke, iced tea

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
almost always. I'm quite stalkerish ;)

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Kim Mitchell when I was 12? 13?

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
not usually

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
a root canal without anesthetic

16. What is out your back door?
I don't have a back door. Out my side door is a stone step and a path leading to the back yard.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
We went out for dinner tonight with the kids (chinese) then bought croc's for me (bright orange ones) and acidopholis for the kids (all three) chicken and dried fruit.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
yes... blerg

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
no I have not

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
I do not

22. Some things you are excited about?
yule, my baby going to bed at a decent time

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
blerg... I don't do jello

24. Describe your keychain(s)?
It has a knitted wool soaker on it. Blue.

25. Where do you keep your change?
In an empty frosting container in my cupboard beside my microwave

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Yesterday at League. The day before at Mother Goose. The week before when teaching sling making at NFHS.

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
Lavendar outside. White fleece with snowflakes inside.

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
really really hot.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
closed except for a tiny crack.

League meetings and such

Tonight was LLL. We just started a new series and I think that people will enjoy it. The goal is to get people thinking a bit more about activism and such. There was a good mix of old and new people (and old and new babies!) Our two newest people were a mama that has a 4 week old little boy who has Down's syndrome and a lovely mama with a 4 month old beautiful little girl. She is of african descent and I'm already making plans for her and Phoenix to wed in the future. One of the cutest babies I've ever seen! The meeting went well... I was a bit dismayed though...

The sweet little baby that has downs is circumsized :( Poor little one. Like he does not have enough going on that you had to cut him up. It didn't look good either... red and kinda scabby. It's really the first baby boy penis I've seen cut so I'm not sure what it's supposed to look like. It was really just a gut reaction I guess... my dismay that is. I would never say anything to her but she was definatley looking at both Phoenix and Grayson and noticing their uncirc'ed state.

Tonight was soup and bread for supper. Olivia loved the lentil soup and Maddy was okay with it... not love but at least she ate it.

Phoenix is in bed already. I say already but it's 12:23 am and he just went to bed 10 minutes ago. Hey... at least it's not 1:30!

Maddy's got kindy tomorrow. I think we'll go out for chinese for dinner. I have a box of clothes I'm going to get in the mail for Heather and Xan. Right I need to get those pacifiers off of Robyn.

I'm tired. I'm spent. I need a day to just sit, relax, chat, and renew my resources. I need a day with no kids hanging off of me (big kids that is) and no responsibilities other than cuddling and nursing my babe. I need a maid to clean my house and a chef to cook me meals. I need to have my husband all to myself for a good 4-5 hours.

Next friday is the big v day. The countdown begins...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Really good day

Phoenix didn't sleep very much today either BUT he's in bed already and has been for the last 20 minutes! He actually went to sleep at around 11 (in the pouch) and I was able to slip it off over my head and get him into bed with it. I think from now on I'll make sure he's fed, changed and then into the sling he'll go. He does not like being cuddled when he's tired but he loves falling asleep in the sling. Score one for mom!

We had a great day today. The potluck dinner was awesome. The turkey turned out very well and the salads were fantastic. I picked up a blueberry pie to go with the pumpkin pie and it was a hit. The girls had a wonderful time and there was very little whining or issues with any of the kids. Nice!!!

Tomorrow morning we're off to brunch at my Mother Goose co-leader Richards house. I'm bringing some nice warm bread :) I know we'll have a fantastic time.

Previously mentioned baby....

woke up at 2 am
4 am
6 am
8 am...

Yawwwwwnnn.... so sleepy.

The girls gave us a rude awakening at 8:30 by Maddy getting up, getting dressed, putting on runners and then waking Olivia, and clomping around the house. They were both promptly put back to bed. They are both playing nicely in their OWN ROOMS because they won't stop fighting and I don't want to murder them. So in their rooms they shall stay.

Have I mentioned I am tired? Very very tired.

My kingdom for a sleeping baby...

Or at least one that goes to sleep before 1:20 am...

I love my baby. I really do. I know that these days will not last forever. I know that some day I will be able to put him to bed, kiss him goodnight and walk out of the room and he will sleep. I know this. I do.

In the meantime though... man am I exhausted! Lets talk about his day in sleep. Last night he went to bed at 1:30 am (notice a trend?) woke to nurse at about 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, 6 am, 8 am, 9:30 am and then up for the day at 11:30 am. He napped for about 10 minutes at 2:00 pm. He napped then from 3:30 to 4:45 pm. He was up then until 6:35 pm when he napped until 6:50pm. He was up then until 10:00 pm and fell asleep (which I was SURE would be for the night...) he napped until 10:20 pm. He then fell asleep for the night just 15 minutes ago. 1:34 am now. He slept LESS THAN TWO HOURS in a 14 hour stretch. He sleeps less than my five year old. I'm serious.

By the time he finally fell asleep tonight he was so tired he was crying with his eyes closed... but don't nurse me mommy! So I layed with him and he sucked my pinky for about 3 minutes until he passed out. Tired much?

I think it's time for some sort of a bedtime routine... I think I'm missing the boat on his sleepy cues (it's hard to capitalize on them with two other munchkins running around) and he gets so overtired that he can't sleep.

Sleep sleep sleep. I should be sleeping but I need 1/2 hour to myself so I don't go mad.

Suprisingly enough I keep my patience. Nice gentle voices, cuddles... kisses. Jeff was awesome with him tonight and just snuggled and cuddled him. Kissed his cheeks, played with him. Okay... maybe he does not sleep cause he just loves us to bits? lol!

Enough about sleep. Or lack thereof.

Today was a great day with Madeline. We played, build the Melissa and Doug log home. Did some reading together (she is picking up words like crazy!) cuddled... she helped with the tidying and got me stuff for Phoenix. She was a joy to be around.

Olivia... not so much. She is in the terrible, terrifying, totally insane three's. when she's happy and cute she is the most adorable child in the world. When she's mad, tired, hungry, feeling left out, in the wrong clothes, the room temperature is one degree off, two hairs are on the floor and casper the cat looks at her the wrong way? She's a minor demon. If I have to hear NO one more time I may yet pull out all my hair. I keep explaining logical consequences to her and giving her options... "if you throw your kitty on the floor again I am taking her away. Your choice... keep her safe in bed or she goes" so WHY IS SHE SHOCKED that when she throws the damn stuffed cat on the floor that I take the fucking thing away? I swear she has lost her mind.

I made an awesome dinner tonight... well I have been making awesome dinners almost every night. I've got the urge back to cook lately so cooking I have been. I made really yummy chicken breast fingers. I mixed a package of taco seasoning and flour, dredged the chicken in egg and then in the flour. Fried them in olive oil till they got a crust and then chucked them in the oven for 25 minutes at 350. Sooooooooo good.

I'm totally thankful to Robyn for her easy EASY bread recipe. It has water, olive oil, honey, ww flour, yeast, salt and brown sugar. Sooooo yummy. So easy. I love it. I love my bread machine now :)

I'd been thinking about giving away my third cast iron frying pan that I never use. So when tonight a woman asked specifically for a frying pan I offered it to her. She's going to pick it up tomorrow and was so excited that she actually got one. It's vintage too :) It was my grandmothers and it's about 30 years old. I have two other really good ones that I use constantly.

Tonight was a laundry night. Jeff and I folded a ton. Today I got the girls closets and drawers purged of summer stuff and everything neat and organized. It will stay like that for about 2 minutes tomorrow but at least I tried.

Tomorrow we are going to a pot luck thanksgiving dinner. I supplied the turkey (got for free by spending 225$ at superstore) and mashed potato's. I think Robyn is bringing a salad and dessert and Michelle is providing veggies and stuffing and stuff. She's also cooking the turkey.

Well I'm tired (have I mentioned that?) so I should head off to bed. Jeff is already there as is baby fiend.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Busy busy busy...

so point form it is:

a member of a board I am on had triplets at home the other day!!!! It rocked :) They are adorable

a good friend of mine had an unassisted birth at home in the tub two days ago. Baby Xan was born healthy and happy and a robust 9ish lbs. I talked to Heather on the phone that night for an hour and it was such a wonderful happy chat. I was there last year when her son Jericho died shortly after birth so this is the finale to a very long and painful year for her

Robyn and I have been getting together more and more often and it rocks. I heart her. I love her kids. I love our chats. I love how knowlegable and how like me she is. We apreciate the same things. Have basically the same parenting style. Are passionate about the same things... I am so lucky to have a best friend like her

Phoenix is ROLLING from back to front now. You turn him back over and rolling again... it's very cute

Olivia is VERY three ... nuff said

Maddy is doing so well in school. Her teacher and librarian both have told me how polite, well behaved, good at listening she is and how they love knowing her. That warms my heart to hear it. I was worried that her spiritedness would get the best of her but she is slowly learning how to control her actions

I'm tired. I have an absess on my breast. I put some tto on it and it's getting less red and feels much better already. I love using natural remedies

sigh... off to nurse Phoenix and then probably bed. I'm beat today.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'm here...

I just don't have much to say these days.

We're all well.

Phoenix is sleeping like crap and I'm very tired.

Hopefully more tomorrow :)