Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sick husbands

Well just one husband.

I've sent him off to the er as I am pretty sure he has a raging kidney infection. His back is killing him, he's puking and shitting his guts out and can't keep anything (not even water) down. When I was rubbing his back as he puked I could feel that he left kidney was enlarged and seemed tender. I am REALLY REALLY hoping that is what it is... because if he has the flu and gives it to the rest of us I might have to kill him.

Phoenix is doing so well :) Last night he gave me a couple of three hour stretches and that was nice! They key is to nurse him for about three hours straight before bed ;) Tank him up for the long haul.

Speaking of which... little man has had enough of me typing ;)

Monday, June 26, 2006

I will survive...


The first day was very anti-climactic for me. The girls were fairly well behaved, Phoenix and I slept in a wee bit while the kids ate the cereal that my wonderful husband had poured for them :) He made them sandwiches for lunch and left them in the fridge so when the time came I just added some yoguart and fruit and we were good to go!

I actually even got dressed and ate food myself before noon... it's a red letter day!

Little man is sleeping the heat off today... I feel sorry for wee people that can't get cool. He's just in a romper but he still looks warmish. We're heading out for a bit and the air conditioned drive in the van will be nice.

I asked Olivia if she is ready to wean (her "cousin" and best friend just did at 39 months!) her response... "ummm... no." LOL! Maybe some day ... when she's about 20.

It's my other mother's birthday on wednesday so we're all heading over tomorrow night with cake, ice cream and pressies. I'm off tonight to buy her an angel garden statue... she's into angels.

It's still around +30 outside. It's TOO DAMN HOT!

Nursing a wee babe when it's this hot is hot and sticky business. We generate gallons of sweat between the two of us. Very sexy. Not.


Waaaayyyy to fucking hot. And it's supposed to get to a high of 32 fucking degrees tomorrow!!! Hot. Too hot. I think the kidlets and I are going to hibernate downstairs all day tomorrow and try to get coolish...

Jeff has his first day back at work tomorrow. *sob*

Wish me luck.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Party prep and sore boobies!

I think that because this infection is finally going away my milk supply has come back up. Because right now I am engorged to the point where it's not even funny and my little man is passed right out... lol! Figures!

Jeff and the kids are busy setting up the back yard. We've got the sandbox, slide, basketball net, badminton set, lawn bowling, skipping ropes, kits.... I think there should be enough for them to do.

Phoenix was up about 4 times last night... yawn...

Not much left to do! Take the food outside, get dressed... bout it actually.

Now let's hope the rain stays away!!!

Friday, June 16, 2006


Holy crap we got caught in the mother of all freaking storms today! We were at the water park with Robyn and the kids and we could see storm clouds coming... and coming... and then WHOOSH! Massive winds that were blowing branches off of tree's and almost blowing our little people away! The kids were freaked and crying, the adults were shocked and trying to get the kids dry. Within minutes the park was completely emptied. It was the worst storm I've ever been caught in. We had a good laugh about it after though ;)

Olivia loved her birthday pressies :) After we decided to take our picnic indoors to Robyn's basement we got some take out for dinner, rented Chicken Little and Hoodwinked (jeff and the kids are watching it as we speak) to round out the night. I think the kids had a good time today.

Tomorrow it's house cleaning and getting ready for Liv's party. My friend Jean is making the cake (a pony cake?) and I can't wait to see it!

It just amazes me how much I love our new little man :) My other mother asked me when I was ever going to put him down... I told her that it took me this long to get a happy and healthy baby and I don't INTEND to put him down. He's such a wee cute little guy. Sigh... I'd have 12 more but the body is just not cut out for this any more.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

bleeding... babies... birthdays... ballet... food...

It's been a couple of days... lol.

The bleeding stopped, then started (with another er trip) then stopped, then an u/s to rule out leftover manky bits (which none were found) then started again. Blerg. The bleeding is about a medium period right now so not too bad. I talked to my ob this afternoon and she is confident that it's just normal post partum bleeding and that it should resolve with the course of antibiotics that i am on... lets hope!

Phoenix is doing well!!! He sleeps most of the time so far so when he "wakes up" to the world we're really going to be in trouble. He's getting the hang of latching without it taking 40 tries... that's nice! He's pooping tons, peeing like a freaking race horse too and his jaundice is starting to clear up. He's also up to 7 lbs 14 oz today from 7lbs 5 oz 9 days ago :) His thighs are actually starting to get a bit chubby!!!

Olivia turns 3 tomorrow! We're having a birthday party for her on sunday but tomorrow we're going to head to the waterpark with friends around 2ish for a picnic and playtime. We got her a little tykes basketball net thing (for ages 3 and up), two pairs of pj's, treasure chest full of craft supplies, Kumon tracing book and Maddy got her a ballet barbie. We just have to pick up the pool and we're done. Oh and she got her ears pierced!!! Too cute :) Little blue titanium studs.

Maddy's hard at work still for the ballet recital. Grandma rose is putting together her pink rainbow fish costume :) We're going to see the production as a family on the friday night and then daddy will go see on saturday. I have a mother goose picnic to go to with Livvy and Phoenix. She keeps showing us her moves though and they are uber cute.

Robyn made us dinner tonight and got Mike to drop it off before work. It was SO FREAKING GOOD!!!!! A chicken, brocolli and pasta dish, a loaf of warm grain bread and chocolate muffins. Heaven! Jeff wants me to get her recipe for the bread as he nearly went to heaven when he tasted it :) Robyn is way to good to me. I love her to bits.

Speaking of which... Gray (her son) looks huge to me now! Before Phoenix was born he looked so tiny... and now he looks ginormous. So does Olivia for that matter too. It's all a matter of perspective.

Well I need to shower while daddy and Phoenix are watching "puppets who kill" ... yah... good baby tv. lol.

Monday, June 12, 2006


Can this be done yet? Seriously?

I'd been happy over the fact that my vaginal bleeding was so minimal and was looking like it might subside very soon! So we're heading out yesterday afternoon to pick up Olivia's birthday pressies when I step over the threshhold of the house, feel a pop, feel two objects slide out between my legs and then proceed to hemmorage all over the driveway. I was soaked with blood to my knee's within seconds. I yelled to jeff to call 911, he led me over to the grass and got me laying down, got a blanket for me and sat with me.

The ambulance was here within minutes. They assesed me in the driveway and then took me to the er with sirens blazing. I was taken into a room almost immediately where they started ANOTHER FUCKING IV (like I have not had enough of needles) did some blood work (again with the needles) and hooked me up to every machine known to man. At one point my blood pressure crashed but it came back up... I guess I was in shock?

By the time they did the exam the bleeding had really slowed down. They figure that I probably have a uterine infection. The concerning thing now is that on my right side I have a fist sized hard lump right around where my uterus is I think... they didn't check that out yesterday so I am going in to see my dr at 2pm today and we'll figure out what is going on.

I'm scared.

I'm scared it's going to happen again.

I'm scared I'll bleed out in the middle of the night.

I'm just... scared...

You know.. childbirth just SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS. I know this is what had to happen... I know. But it just sucks.

Jeff has an appointment with our family dr for 1:15 today to discuss his vasectomy. I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT go through another pregnancy. I just can't do it. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to jeff and it's not fair to our kids.

Sigh... scared.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Birth Story of Phoenix Jeffrey Blade

Well I got up at 6am Friday June 2, 2006 after a very restless sleep. Did the required shower and teeth brushing, got dressed and headed to the hospital. We met my mother and my other mother (basically raised me since I was a teenager) there and got up to my room. To my surprise and HUGE delight I was granted a private room (this is a truly lucky thing as the hospital right now only has TWO private rooms and there were four c-sections scheduled for Friday!) When I asked why I got so lucky… I got a wink and the nurse said that the night nurses the day before were big fans of mine (I am a LLL leader and had been coming two times weekly for non stress tests) Hey… whatever pull I have I am happy to use it!

I was supposed to be having my surgery at 9:30 but I got bumped for an emergency section. I finally got in the OR at about 10:45 but then they couldn’t get the spinal in! 12 (yes 12) tried later… and two doctors later… they finally got it in. The surgery started and I was comfortable. My hubby was holding my hand and my team of surgeons were awesome. All women. All the most empathetic people who kept me updated and only focused on me… and not their golf games as had previous dr’s while doing my other c-sections… nice huh?

Finally at 11:42 wee baby Phoenix came into the world! He cried instantly and per my instructions they didn’t deep suction him. He was looked over quickly and then Jeff brought him to me. He stopped crying the second he heard my voice He had a ton of vernix, long fingernails and he has sparse medium brown hair. Eventually Jeff and the nurse took him upstairs where they weighed him. No vitamin K shot and no eye ointment. Daddy rubbed in as much of his vernix as he could. He weighed in at 7 lbs 7 oz. A full pound lighter than Maddy and almost two pounds lighter than Olivia! He is 20.25 inches long. He is beautiful. Daddy calls him his “little dude” and I’ve taken to calling him my “wee man.” Lol!

They recovered me in post op and I FINALLY got to go up and see him a full 2.5 hours AFTER he was born. That’s a sore spot for me. Though Jeff held him the ENTIRE time and didn’t let anyone else hold him until I got to. He rocks. He insisted that I be the second one and I was.

He had no interest in nursing until about 10 that night. He’d lick the breast, nuzzle it, kiss it… and open his mouth just a teeeeeny bit. He finally took his first meal and made it a good ½ hour one. He was very sleepy (and still is) but after about 24 hours he was nursing pretty well and he is having more alert periods. He’s nursing often, lots of wet diapers, poopy ones are starting to come more frequently. My milk came in Sunday morning about about 6 am. So about 42 hours after surgery. It’s still coming in and engorgement is manageable at this point but I know it’s going to get far worse My FF boobs are increasing in size by the hour! My husband (and baby!) are in heaven!

He’s sleeping well when he’s not nursing and I am getting an amazing amount of sleep for having a little person in the house. We wake, nurse and both fall back asleep. He’s been out of my arms very little and in fact he’s napping in the fleece pouch as we speak.

My incision is looking good and feeling ok. I’m taking my pain meds religiously as I was trying to play the martyr yesterday and just take enough to get by… yah not so good of an idea. As long as my pain is controlled I am able to get around well enough.

So that’s it… we got home after 49 hours (I whined and got sprung early) and we’re adjusting to being a family of 5. The girls are IN LOVE with him and Maddy especially wants to be with him all the time. Olivia could really care less as long as her needs are met. Our first morning together as a family this morning, both girls climbed into bed with Jeff, Phoenix and I and we snuggled and cuddled for about a ½ hour. They know they are loved. Sigh… I am just so happy he’s here and he’s okay and I’m okay and I’m so in love with my wee man.

Jeff’s going to post some pics to our website tonight and I’ll pop in later with the url for you all.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I'm outta here!

I need to be at the hospital by 7:30 for admitting and then the c-section is at 9:30!!!

Oh and according to Olivia (the three year old)... it's not a boy hippie.

It's a frog. A girl frog. A girl frog that's name is Colostrum... lol!!!

Please think happy thoughts for me and pray to whatever deity that you choose that things go smoothly. I'm scared :(

Thursday, June 01, 2006


ONE DAY! Holy shit!

At this time tomorrow I'll be holding my newest little person.
One day.

I'm freaking out here! I've NEVER known when my babies were going to come and it's very wierd to know that. I worry that he/she is not ready, I worry that I am not ready... I worry. I worry because I know all the stats about c-sections and having had two I worry because I know I hate them.

I am so paranoid these past few days about baby moving... It's like I am so close and just even more worried that something could take this joy away.

The girls are estatic. We went out last night and bought Maddy her summer clothes (a whole 4 pairs of shorts and two shirts....) she has plenty of short sleeved shirts, dresses and skorts but only two pairs of shorts. She helped me pick the stuff out and it's really cute. Oh and Olivia got her "biderman" (spiderman) jammies. She's over the moon.

They are at my mom's for the day so jeff and I can get last minute stuff done here at home. We have laundry to do, beds to change, windows to paint... lol.

My grandma is coming over for dinner and then spending the night with us so she can look after the kids in the morning and early afternoon tomorrow. It should be fun.

One day.

Holy shit.