Saturday, December 30, 2006

Just another day in paradise...

If by day you mean week... and by paradise you mean hell...


Mr. baby Fiend refused to sleep last night. Daddy fiend and I wished to have hot sex in front of our roaring (gas) fireplace. The scene was set, the blankets were down, the pillows were... plumped and then the baby called. So off I was at midnight to boob him yet once again. After what seemed like 4 hours (but was really 45 minutes) of boob'ing, shushing, cuddling, pleading and finally BEGGING he finally conked out.

The sex happened. The sex was fucking fantastic. The sex ended and I went to bed.

And fell asleep... for about 5 minutes. Until about 10am this morning when I finally got another 1.5 hours of sleep. Mr. fiend was up ALLLLL NIGHT! He could not settle, he would not nurse, then he'd nurse for an hour, then he'd cry, then he'd giggle... he was hysterical! One look at his cheeks this morning told the story... bright red streaks. He is FINALLY getting a tooth. He's been threatening to get said tooth for about 3 months. But there is a whitish dot on bottom gums and I believe that the tooth is coming.

Hylands teething tablets do nothing for this boy. And even though there is almost the exact same ingredients in the Boiron liquid teething remedy, IT seems to work. As in conk said boy out. It's nice. Very nice.

So boy has been sleeping on and off for around 3 hours now. Waking to nurse briefly (15 minutes or so) and then back off to homeopathic drug land ;)

In other news... well there is no real other news. Not doing anything for New Years this year apparently (oh wait jeff just walked in and we might be getting together with Chris and Nansi) but nothing too exciting anyways. Even if we did want to do something I think Rose is already busy babysitting her grandkids. Apparently Robyn and the kids are back in town as of yesterday? I dunno. Have not heard anything from them as of yet.

I think we'll head out to my real mother's house on new years day. She has a pot of chilli and some Turkey soup for us to take home. I will not turn down good homecooked food that I only have to heat up ;)

Today was a throw together supper. I whipped up a batch of garlic hummus, guacamole, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, fresh sourdough bread and tortilla chips. The kids loved it. It was yummy. Phoenix actually ate some solid food! He had about a half tablespoon of organic oatmeal and a half tablespoon of organic applesauce. He's finally figured out the move food to the back of your throat and swallow thing ;)

I think we'll take the girls either swimming or to the museum tomorrow. Burn off some energy. They've been having a ton of fun with new playdoh, markers, painting sun catchers, doing their scaperfoil art... pretending to be ponies and nursing off their big ponies ;) They're a little nutso but wonderful girls. They picked out some new books at the library today and Maddy found a ballet one. If there is a ballet book within 2 miles it's hers.

Well I should probably pay some attention to jeff... even though he got to go out and visit and I didn't. Sigh... tis my lot in life I suppose. ;)

Friday, December 29, 2006

A Holiday Picture Post

Sleeping bunny/dragon
Oh so cute :)
Stockings stuffed and waiting for morning
Ponies, Discovery dome, pressies galore
My mom and dad
My cousins Brittney and Sadie with Madeline... after their bubble fight while doing dishes ;)
Olivia... hangin
December 23rd and dressed in their finest
Maddy's school picture
Mr. Fiend... lookin fiendish
Sister Maddy lovin on the babe

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Where to begin?

I guess I'll start... at the beginning... lol!

December 21
We had good intentions to do a ritual with the kids to celebrate Yule... It got late though and we got tired so we let the kids open their presents from Aunty Dawn and then it was bedtime for them. They both got very cool Disney Princess sets and Phoenix got a cool crinkly book and a winnie the pooh photo album.

December 22
We headed over to Al and Roses to open presents from Mike and Robyn as they were going to Robyn's parents house for Christmas. We bought the family (even though we were not supposed to be exchanging family gifts... doh!) a years membership to the local kids museum. I really think they'll enjoy that. They got all three kids of ours jammies, the girls got kids croc's and Phoenix a very cool Leap frog Caterpillar. They also got the girls bobblehead dolls that you put your own pics in. We had dinner there (fantastic as usual) and had a good time. Olivia chucked a wobbly when it was time to leave (long night, very LOUD and busy time) but it was dealt with.

December 23
My parents came over for chinese food and to open presents. My dad was in a fucking snit most of the time that he was here. He was all pissed off because we were not going to be there for Christmas day and it would be the first time that they would have no kids around. Well try treating our family like we mean something to you and perhaps we'll show up? Just a thought? They got the girls some toys, Phoenix some toys and us a big lawn ornament. It ended up being an okay night but my dad's bad mood just overshadowed the whole ordeal.

December 24
We spend the morning just hanging... it was nice! We then took cards and soda cracker candy to all the neighbors that we know. We went to my aunt and uncles for a bit. It was... okay. It's the first time my aunt has seen P since he was born. They got the girls a very cool Crayola crayon maker and some really ugly porceline dolls jewellry box things... I think they will be freecycled shortly ;) We went to my grandmothers for dinner after and my other aunt and uncle, mom and dad and my cousins were there. We had a good time there. I had a very yummy Margarita ;) The girls got really precious dance bags from my grandmother. After we were done there we came home, put out chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookies for santa and the girls went to bed.

I filled the stockings, Jeff brought up the Santa gifts and then he struggled with the farking Discovery Dome for Phoenix for about 45 minutes. lol! We had a late but good night.

December 25
Let the carnage commence!!! The girls and us took about an hour to open all presents. Everyone liked everything. That about sums it up. The girls are ALL about their ponies ;) I got a couple seasons of Friends. Cordless notebook mouse, Memoirs of a Geisha, organic shampoo, face toner, tea and chocolate. I got some socks and notebooks as well. My Mil got me a gorgeous Goddess candle and the Llewellyn press 2007 Witches Datebook. They also got us another years membership to the kids museum.

We went to Al and Roses for breakfast and presents. Breakfast was awesome! They got us (get this!) a Cuisinart Food Processor!!!!!!!! I'm stoked!!! They also got us a Humidifier and some towels, the kids snowsuits and clothes, chairs and umbrella's and markers. Michelle got the girls slippers and Phoenix a First Years Cell Phone. He loves it! We came home for a bit, went back for an awesome supper, put the kids to bed there and then we all came home at around 11pm. Good times. Best Christmas in years.

December 26
Relaxed most of the day. I got to wash my hair with my new organic shampoo, eat some organic chocolate, drink some fabulous chai tea... heaven. We went back over the Al and Roses for an awesome ham dinner and visiting.

Today? I took down my tree ;) Cleaned up the living room and put it back in order. Vacuumed, swept, washed dishes... I got my Babyhawk Mei Tei in the mail!!!!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I got Phoenix on my back and cleaned for two hours with him there. I'm going to get a TON of use out of it! I also got a notice that my credit limit on my card is being upgraded from $200 to $1200. That's quite the jump.

Phoenix went to bed at 8:30 but he's up now. Still tired though. I gave him a bit of mashed avacado and coconut oil. Not... such a fan. He eats maybe an 1/8 of a tsp of food every fourth day or so... maybe. Solids not such a fan of is he.

Well my time is up... I just wanted to get an account of these days done while it's still fresh.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


both my girls are at school (Maddy had her skating party today) and Phoenix is in bed... asleep. Maddy comes home at 2:45 (in just under an hour) Liv at 3:45 and Phoenix should sleep for an hour or so.

I am SOOOO going to get nekkid, have a bath and relax.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Oh for fucks sakes...

Just GO TO SLEEP already!

Yes THIS TIME it's about the baby.

He's been in uber bitchy, teething, grouchy, colicky mode for three solid days. You cannot put him down (not even to pee), you can't eat, HE won't nurse without screaming for 15 minutes first. He chomps at the breast, pulls away, screams... he's getting enough (I'm watching the diaper count) but he's bitchy about it.

I got maybe three hours of sleep last night. I'm bagged. I've now had TWO false starts where he's been in bed tonight but then woken up 10 minutes later ready to party. It's midnight. I'm bagged. I need to sleep.

I'm entertaining thoughts of running away to Greece and leaving it all behind. I'd settle for a QUIET baby, a bath and a good nights sleep though.

Can this stage just be over already? Olivia was such an easy baby... she spoiled the heck out of me.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Good holiday feelings :)

*we've been able to help a family in need (along with my other mother) buy groceries, with santa presents, fill stockings, holiday snackies and with extra money. It feels very good.

*I love watching the girls look at the presents under the tree, try to figure out who's is who's... what's in each package...

*wrapping presents, afixing tags just so... happy feelings :)

*waiting waiting and waiting for santa

*classic Christmas shows on TV... sharing them with my littles

I wish this time of year lasted forever :) One of the first years I've not been stressed about it in a very long time :)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Solid food... and sex (but not together... not that there's anything wrong with that)

and annoying co-leaders.

We had LLL on thursday and we had a "new" mom to the group. She seemed very nice and had a teeny 7.5 month with her (teeny as in like 14-15 lbs) she expressed some concern that her baby seemed to be taking in less breastmilk with the introduction of solids. With some questioning it turns out that her baby is taking in three solid food meals a day. This is the point in the meeting where I'm thinking "well of course he's taking in less breastmilk!" and gently give her the information that breastmilk packs more calories ounce for ounce than any solid foods and that most babies at 7.5 months are not able to fully digest the solids anyways. That if she does not want her baby to prematurely wean that she'll want to be careful with how much she offers.

But... before I can say anything my co-leader leaps in (for the record she's not known for her tactfulness) with "rice cereal is completely garbage, your baby would eat tacks if you put them in front of him, how do you KNOW he want food" (repeat for about 15 minutes) I finally got to interject and gave her some good advice. Dammit I'm getting really tired of having to deflect her comments all the fucking time. If she's that jaded she should just give it up! Grrr....

We give Phoenix a little something every four or so days... usually just a teething bisquit to suck on while we are eating (ok so he's only had two in his life) because he's doing just fine on breastmilk and I don't really say much reason to rock the boat. He still can't sit up unassisted and he still has a tongue thrust so he's obviously not ready for much. Not a popular opinion in the "feed them as soon as possible" sect but probably the safer way to go.

I got to have sex last night. Well mostly sex of the oral variety but sex none the less. I can't FUCKING WAIT till he has his sperm analysis and they are all dead in the water. I hate hate HATE condoms. Most of the time I'd rather not have sex that have sex with condoms. It does not matter the brand, lubed or not, ribbed or not... I just hate them.

I'd like to have sex eventually in my own bed ;) I feel so exposed doing it in the living room. I keep waiting for a little jammied person to walk out and ask for a drink of water ;) That would be a show for them ;) Oh well I guess everyone walked in on their parent's at some point.

After the great fantastic sex (lol) Phoenix only woke up 3 times last night! He woke up, nursed, passed out. I like that.

We're spending the day just hanging and then heading out to friend's for dinner and a gift exchange tonight. It should be fun!

Friday, December 15, 2006

please just SLEEP!

And for once I'm NOT talking about my baby!

Last night Jeff and I decided that we should put up Maddy's ikea bunk bed. We got this gorgeous periwinkle metal bunk bed off of Freecycle about 7 months ago... but it didn't come with bolts! So $40 worth of bolts later...

We finally got the bed up, made and ready for sleeping at 10:45pm! The kids normally go to bed sometime between 7 and 8!!! Maddy and Olivia were finally both sleeping at midnight. MIDNIGHT! Then Miss Madeline decided to wake her sister up at 8am. Not cool. There were son incredibly bitchy and volitile this morning that I canceled our playdate with Robyn and kids and they are back in bed. They better sleep. THEY BETTER!

Phoenix has been sleeping very well (knock on wood) for the last two nights. I'm enjoying it. He's already back in bed for his first nap right now.

Well off to clean the kitchen while I have the time with no kids (I know... party!)
Kitchen is clean... dishwasher emptied and refilled. Pots and pans washed, countertops scrubbed. Today I've also put away three loads of laundry, cleaned the bedroom, scrubbed the bathroom, tidied the living room and dining room and vacuumed the whole house (except for Olivia's room as she screamed NOOOOO when I went to do her room. I figured I'd avoid a fit... hey if she likes to like in squallor who am I to clean her room?)

I had to put Madeline BACK TO BED when she came out after only an hour (and she hadn't slept at all... she's been out three times. Once to pee, once to poop and once for a drink) and asked if they could get up yet. I explained that perhaps she had misunderstood me... she needs to NAP and THEN she can get up. Sigh.... if they don't nap the rest of my day is going to be hell on earth.

I think I might have a bath while the kids are in bed. Hopefully Phoenix won't wake up the second I get in there.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

It's 8:15 pm...

and all my children are in bed! Sleeping!!!

I put the girls to bed at around 7:15ish. Jammies, teeth, story, kisses, rock-a-bye and in to bed. Tucked them both in and snooze town! I called my girlfriend Jean and we were chatting. I was hanging out on the bed with Phoenix. He hadn't nursed for about an hour but was happily playing with his teething beads on his tummy. All of a sudden I look and he's doing the sleepy kitten thang ;) He passed out! I tucked our blankie over him and tip toed out. Who knows how long he is down for but I aim to enjoy it whist I can!

I did a baby shower at Healthiest Babies today. I was representing La Leche League. I was pleasently suprised at the number of breastfeeding moms there :) I got to hang out with Laura and Saphie (Saphie being the baby that Phoenix is arranged to marry... lol! She's absolutely freaking adorable!) and the other babies. At one point I had about 10 women all asking me about first solid foods and food allergies. I am such a good public speaker :) It's really nice to have people who want to educate themselves actually listen to what I have to say. It was a good affirmation of why I do what I do :)

After the baby shower we went and picked up Madeline from kindergarten and I took the kids to Exploration Place for the afternoon. They love the kids museum. We played in the sand, climbed on the ship. Maddy and I did boat races and Liv and I crashed our trains. Afterwards we went upstairs to watch the Bearded Dragon eat his dinner of live crickets. The kids got a massive kick out of that! We watched the snakes, talked to the turtles, played with electricity. We then sat down and played Frog tic tac toe, did a huge wooden Melissa and Doug dinosaur puzzle, played with an insect block puzzle and coloured some christmas pictures. Phoenix napped happily in the sling after nursing his fill downstairs.

We grabbed some dinner tonight and the three of us ate while Jeff went back to work. I let the kids watch a Christmas special on TV until 7 and then into bed.

It's been a good day so far. Though I just got a phone call from Rose that apparently the boys got a "head lice" notice home. Funny... my kid goes to the same school and no notice? I checked her bag and there is nothing in there. I'll check her head in the morning and give her and olivia both shampoo's with some tto in them as a preventative measure. I'm not too worried. The kindergarteners have their own door, don't use any sports gear that the other kids do and are generally segregated. Their coats are in their own room as well. Just have to keep on it that's all. Rose suggested I shampoo their heads with denorex but I remember how badly that hurt my head and I'm not going to put the kids through that. Generally with girls if you keep their hair in tight braids that helps a lot as well.

Well I'm going to take a quick nap I think while Phoenix is sleeping.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


I had a crappy childhood. My father was (is?) an alcoholic. I can't even count the number of times that I woke up in the middle of the night with my mother threatening (screaming) that she was leaving him. My dad going for the gun cabinet, handing my mother a pistol and begging her to kill him. My mother throwing good china at my dad's head... My dad came home one night and ran his brand new truck into the front steps because he was drunk, my mother came out and as they fought my father opened his wallet and pulled out about 10 one hundred dollar bills... threw them on the steps and then left. I watched this through my window... Believe it or not? These were the best of times...

We moved to British Columbia, my dad had to find a new job and things went from bad to worse. He became depressed, poor, mean... he was master of the silent treatment. If he was mad at my sister and I he would ignore us for weeks on end. He would grunt if an answer was needed to a question. Often just the slightest infraction from us would send him over the edge. My father is a large man... almost 6 feet and a former boxer, rodeo guy and farrier. My father is a very very strong man and had no problems using violent physical force to "discipline" us. Being thrown up against walls and held by our necks. Being beat on our bare asses. Slapped across the face. Hair being pulled. I was never beat with his belt but my sister was. Numerous times.

Many times I would weep while I heard my sister being beat through the bedroom walls. I would beg and cry for him to stop, for him to leave her alone... he never did. I would ask my mother to make him stop. She never did. She never protected us. She never even tried. I got my last spanking on the bare ass at the age of 15 for having brought home a report card that had a C- on it. I told him then that if he ever tried to spank me again I would report him.

My father has an acid tongue. I recall being called a slut at the age of 11 because I dared wear make-up. Fat cow was a frequent title that was bestowed upon me. We used to have "family meetings" where he would pound the table with his large meaty fists for hours upon hours. Calling us names, asking us questions that we didn't have answers to. I would stare at my hands and rub my right thumb over my left thumb over and over... for hours. I still do this when cornered. I still have a very hard time looking anyone in the eye when I experience confrontation with them.

My parents are drug addicts. They have been for as long as I can remember. Everything for them is all about getting their next hit. Their next toke. When we were poor I can clearly remember my dad handing me two dollars and telling me to buy as many packs of ramen noodles as I could... and saying that this was what was going to feed us as a family for the next week. I came out of the grocery store and excitedly conveyed to him that they were having a sale on "no name" noodles... 6 packs for a dollar! I was able to get 12 whole packs. My sister and I had to share one... one per day... for four days until my mother was able to get an advance from her work and buy some groceries.

When I finally moved out and was on my own I spent all my money on food. All the time. I gained over 100 lbs in two years. I have a much better relationship with food now but my cupboards HAVE to be full. My children will never starve. My children will NEVER eat ramen noodles. My children will eat good, organic, home cooked food. They will never have to wonder where their next meal will come from.

My parents felt particularily flush one day and bought my sister and I both horses. Two horses plus all their tack for $600. I spent one whole glorious summer riding constantly. Her name was Misty. We explored all the surrounding mountains, lakes... rivers. She was my life. They sold her without telling me just before Christmas. They needed the money. They let my sister keep her horse... saying that they knew I would understand. They gave away my cat, my rabbit, my dog.

The years have past. I have children now. I don't want to hit them. I don't want to yell at them. I don't want to neglect them. I struggle daily with how I was raised. I get SO MAD when I read that people think it's ok to beat their kids... "they have to learn right?" They "pop" "smack" "tap"... they hit them. Call it what it is. They do it out of "love"... if my husband hit me out of love he'd be in fucking jail! I cannot condone the violence... I just can't.

Am I a perfect parent? No. Have I fucked up royally and hit my children? Yes. Often? No. I can count the number of times that I have hit my older children on less than two hands. I strive daily to improve my parenting skills and find alternate ways to handle my children... and handle myself.

My parents want us to come for Christmas dinner. I have declined. My mother burst into tears and told me that she cannot lives without her "babies"... I had a hard time not laughing in her face. She does not care about my children. She spends no time with them. She does not play with them, talk to them, show affection for them. She can go for months without seeing them... she lives in the same town! I thought things might change after Kylee (my sisters daughter) and Dawn moved to Alabama but it didn't... we just don't matter. I just don't fucking care anymore. I'm tired of striving for their love and approval... I will never get it. I don't want it.

I'm very glad that I have Rose and Al. They have been my parents essentially since I was 15 years old. They took me in to their home. Fed me. Clothed me. Rose was my mother, phychiatrist, best friend. I spent weeks and weeks at their house just hanging out, being a family... feeling normal. Normal was so fucked for me that I didn't know what it was at first. Then I began to crave it, seek it out. Whenever I am stressed or sad... lonely or freaking out I head back to Roses. I cry at the drop of a hat around her. I feel like I can lose it with my kids around her... I know she'll pick up the pieces. I know she'll love me no matter what.

My best friend has helped me more than she'll ever know. Robyn and I's relationship has evolved over the last five years. She knows more about me than almost anyone. My day does not feel complete until I talk to her. She knows bit and pieces about my past... she struggles with her parenting as I do. We bounce idea's off of one another and cry on eachothers shoulders when things don't go as planned. I feel normal around her. I don't ever have to put up a pretense... I know she understands.

And Jeff. Well he is my rock. My love. My life. He has taught me so much about love and forgiveness. I would not be the person I am today were it not for him.

This post has been brewing for weeks... I know it probably sounds disjointed... my mind works that way ;) Phew... I feel better.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Another long day

But a really really good day with the kids. Phoenix slept like crap last night (what else is new?) and we were all up and about at 9am. I was going to go back to bed but I really wanted to shitkick the kitchen into shape. So Jeff and I washed... cupboards, counters, fridge, stove, sinks, floors... it's a very very clean kitchen and I am a happy Tammy :)

Jeff played with the kids a ton today. Drug them around the house while they hung to his ankles, tickled, scared, threw them around. They soak that time up. Phoenix was less impressed with the noise but a good boobing keeps him happy.

The girls did tons of crafts... watched "Cars" twice *roll eyes* played with playdoh, stamps, coloured, did paper dolls.

We went to the mall today and hit the dollar store so the girls could do their shopping for eachother and jassy, gray, brandon, travis and phoenix. They bought some interesting stuff ;) I tried to gently guide them to appropriate items but in the end it was whatever struck their fancy.

Maddy has school every day this week except friday. They are practicing the christmas concert on tuesday and then preforming it on thursday. I can't wait!!!

Well off to bed. I'm knackered.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


So I'm off to bed.

Quick summary...

Most presents bought. Ballet paid for. All presents wrapped.

I need sleep.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Busy busy busy

Tonight we did grocery shopping and health food shopping. Ave Maria had a 25% off special tonight that I did not know about but since I bought nearly $100 it was nice to get that off! I bought a $22 dollar jar of coconut oil, Aubrey organics shampoo for the girls, Weleda Calendula cream for Phoenix. I also pick up Tahini, the girls vitamins, organic baby oatmeal and some vanilla teething bisquits. They still had their organic ground beef on for buy three get one free. So I got four chubs of that. I then went to Superstore and dropped another load of cash. Dammit why does it cost so much to eat fresh and organic? I won't change it for anything but I'll also never be one of those people that say eating organic is no more expensive. It's more expensive. Trust me.

While at Superstore I picked up a Leappad book for Maddy (on sale for $6!!!) and the kids x-mas outfits. A gorgeous black velvet dress for Maddy with a little fuzzy pink bolero jacket, a burgandy and pink fluttery dress for Liv and a little vest/shirt/tie/pants set for Phoenix. They'll be smashing!

I asked Rose to babysit the kids tomorrow while we do some shopping. She already has the boys though so we'll see. She's supposed to call me in the morning and let me know. I hope she can but I also don't want to feel as if I'm pulling teeth or anything ;) Apparently Al might have something already planned for her to do. We'll see.

I have to run all over town tomorrow for Christmas pressies. Exploration place, PG sewing, Superstore, Wal-mart, Pine centre, Warehouse one... it will be extrordinarily stressful if we have to take the kidlets. It will be bad enough shuffling Phoenix in and out of the car. At least the weather is nice though and so heavy duty clothing is not needed. The girls both have ballet tomorrow too... that reminds me that we have to pay them their fee's.

I've got my lists made. I've checked it twice. I'm ready to rock and or roll.

Friday, December 08, 2006


It's a mish mash post. Mostly thrown up because my darling sister asked me to ;)

Today was a hard day. I've got very little sleep for the last oh well six months or so. I'm tired. I'm tired of hearing children fight and bicker from the very second I wake up to the minute they go to bed. Thank the goddess above for preschool and kindergarten. I would not survive this year I swear.

Phoenix is a fusspot. He is about 10 times fussier than Olivia ever was. He wants to be held constantly (normal of course) and it's hard. He's in the sling at least 4-5 hours a day and my back is feeling it. I love him to death and he's such a little punkin... but he's a fusspot. I have to remember though that one day he won't want to be held and cuddled and snuggled and I should enjoy it whilst I have the chance. I love my little guy. I love my girls. I thank the goddess every day that I have the chance to have them in my lives... but could they just take it a bit easier on me? lol!

Jeff had to work late tonight. He had a meeting with a client (web) and he'll come home with not only a paycheck tomorrow but also another $750 cheque. Nice! He works very hard for our family and I am very grateful and thankful to him.

We had a nice dinner tonight after the girls were in bed. Phoenix sat in his bouncy seat and chewed an apple through his baby safe food teether. I think he mostly ate drool but he got some tastes :) It kept him happy for a bit. Jeff and I ate Boston Pizza takeout and it was tres yummy. Damn it's expensive to order from there! I think it's our first time ever?

Tomorrow Maddy has school and then grocery shopping at night. I want to finish my Christmas shopping this weekend and get that out of the way.

Our yule tree this year. The kids decorated it :)

Our ornaments on the bookshelf.

Olivia and Phoenix while Maddy was at school. Notice that Olivia is in possesion of the family Rudolf. He's currently tucked into bed with her. Phoenix has found his hands and is quite happy with that :)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006



I am soooo tired. Phoenix has slept no more than 15 minutes at a time all day and all night for the last two nights and days. I FINALLY got him to sleep in bed as of about an hour or so ago. I hope he stays down for a while... he needs it.

He thinks that he wants solid food. He does. He watches us eat, opens his mouth, pretends to chew... but his body is clearly not ready for it judging from the fact that he gets crampy and gassy and uber bitchy. He'll just have to grouch about it for a while longer I guess.

My husband loves me. He really does! He told me to go ahead and order a Baby Hawk Mei Tai. I'm stoked! I need something to be able to carry Phoenix around on my back for hours. I've been doing it with the pouch but he's a little too low in it for it to be comfy for my back. I'll keep using the pouch around for poppability (great for just running in somewhere) but if he's going to be it in for a couple of hours I need the MT. I'm uber stoked! (did I mention that?)

I go an order in for Carazoo shoes. Two pairs for Phoenix (skull and crossbones and a tan Teddy bear pair) and a pair for Ella (lavendar with purple butterflys) so cute! I'm waiting for a bill for my Klean Kanteen's as well. I love Christmas shopping on line.

I'm laying down for a bit before I have to make dinner. This day is just freaking dragging...

Monday, December 04, 2006

Stuff and stuff

point form ;)

*we put up the tree and decorated last night... the kids did the tree and did a fantastic job! Good times... good times

*we've had like two feet of snow over the weekend. It... fucking... sucks

*my milk supply is rebounding (thank you fenugreek!) and Phoenix is having tons of nice wet diapers now (yayy!)

*still looking for a pony... supposed to call Jason from Leisure at superstore tomorrow and suck up to him ;)

*got Jeff put on moderated status on freecycle for mentioning that we'd pay for a pony

*Jeff scored a $1500 web contract. Half now and half at the beginning of January. Snow tires here we come!

*yah... we decided not to buy snow tires and then it snowed two feet. We need snow tires

*my mother came and visited today... for a whole hour. Nice. She payed attention to Phoenix... talked to the girls a bit and then left! Spending the evening with Sue before she heads out to work... we're high on the priority scale I tell ya

*off to boob babe and hopefully get him to sleep. He had about 1/8 of a tsp of fresh mashed pear today (if that) and Jeff let him lick a fudgsicle. If you can't tell I really don't care whether he eats solid food or not.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


I need a pony. Desperately. All Madeline wants for x-mas is a "Fur real" Butterscotch pony. They are $300. I could get away with just a large riding pony (but not rocking) BUT I CAN'T FIND ONE ANYWHERE!!! We got Olivia a half sized one and know I'm freaking out because I know Maddy's heart is going to be broken because Olivia got a Pony and she didn't. I just cannot justify a $300 pony though! I can't afford it.

So I've been searching ebay all night (nothing) looked through all the catalouges (nothing) I've even got a post out on freecyle offering to buy one!

Last year they had the full sized ones at superstore and by the time I had the money to buy one they were all gone. I wish they would bring them in again this year. Sigh.

I don't know why this is so important to me... but it is.

Friday, December 01, 2006

CUTEST BABY EVAH and a daddy birthday day!

Daddy and Madeline reading the card that Madeline wrote all by herself! That's daddy on the front wearing long sleeves because it is so cold outside ;)

Daddy and Olivia with the very first card she has ever printed... apparently she does know all her letters and how to write them. Who'd a thunk it?

THE CUTEST HAT EVER!!!!! made this hat and I freaking love it! Apparently so does he ;)

Once again with the cute cat and CUTE BABY in the sling... telling mommy how much he likes the hat (and how much he likes boobs of course.) Hat is now safely wrapped up and ready to be put under the tree.