Today... continued

Well Phoenix basically screamed for 7 hours... then fussy for 2.5 hours... and now is asleep on Jeff's lap.

I had a complete meltdown today at lunch. I had finally got Phoenix to sleep and started to clean up my (very trashed) house. He woke up after 5 MINUTES screaming. I got him up and freaked. I yelled at the kids. I yelled at Jeff. I yelled at Phoenix. I slammed doors, cupboards and dishes. Jeff right away started power cleaning with Phoenix in the sling and we tidied up the whole house in 1/2 hour. I cannot operate in stressful times with a messy house. I just can't.

I feel like I am swimming and swimming and just can't get my head far enough out of the water to see the shore. I am going on faith that there actually is a shore out there and at the end this will all have been for something.

My eldest daughter is lucky she made it through the day alive. She was rude, beligerant, loud and just... so very five it was unreal. The final straw was when I finally had soothed Phoenix to sleep and asked her to grab a blanket for him. She ran at me with it, yelled "catch!" and then chucked it at his head. I had to fight to urge to throttle her... and I rarely get physical with my kids. Of course Phoenix woke up and tons of yelling ensued (from both him and me.)

Olivia had a nap today and didn't wake up until 6:30. So she's still up. I'm thinking another half hour and then to bed.

We had a simple dinner tonight... egg salad in spinach tortilla shells with frozen strawberries for dessert... and lets talk about those strawberries shall we?

It's a company called "Europes best."
The strawberries come from Chile.
They are packed in Montreal.

Where the fuck does Europe figure in this equation?