Friday, February 16, 2007


I'm not sure at which point sleep deprivation becomes torture... but from my own widespread studies (on myself of course) I think it takes about a month of being constantly wakened and getting absolutely NO rem sleep. Check the time of this entry. 4... AM.

Phoenix went to sleep at 9pm. Slept until 11:45ish. Nursed well. Crashed again. I went to bed just after 1am. He woke at 1:42am. I nursed him... I flipped him onto his tummy and he started to scream. And continued to whine and bitch and fuss and moan for the next hour. following the trend of EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS. I get into bed and within a fucking hour he's awake... and awake for the rest of the god damned night.

So with murderous thoughts in my mind I figured it was safer for him for me to give up any thought of sleep and just get up and suck it up and deal. So we've watched the end of 30 minute meals. Little Miracles, Birth Stories and now we're watching the Mom Show. Phoenix is sitting beside me on the couch having just nursed and is now chewing on his tiger tail. He is showing NO signs of sleepiness. I imagine that the whole half hour of sleep I got tonight already is all that I'll be getting for the night. Add that to the 45 minutes the night before and the 15 minute nap I got today and that's almost 1 1/2 hours in 48 hours! Sweet... oh fucking hell.

I have a dentist appointment in less than 5 hours. He's supposed to be finishing my root canal on my left hand bottom tooth but since my right bottom wisdom tooth has now inflicted the entire right half of my face and jaw with shooting pains, I'm hoping I can convince him that an extraction of that tooth is a better idea. Not that I'm into pain or anything but I'd love to get it out and get out of CONSTANT pain.

Wow I'm whiney this morning. I'm sorry.

In my next life I want to be a dad. Because dad's get to sleep. Because dad's get to lie in bed and pretend they are asleep until you take the baby and go away. Because dad's get to pull the "I don't have the tits" card whenever they want. Yep... sign me up for fatherhood.

It's really dark in here. I want to be sleeping. Nothing is going on in the net at this time of night. I'm tired.

Maddy has school today and Jeff has the day off (so really he should be helping me out here... I guess my sobbing cries did nothing to wake him). So after my dentist appointment we have to go grocery shopping and then hopefully I'll take some t3's and nap for a couple of hours. Then he has to work tomorrow and I get to go camp out in the ballet studio for a couple hours. That's always fun. Not. I have to remind Jeff to pay monthly and festival fee's for the girls. I wonder if they need to come in costume again? Eh. I'll just take it in case.

I wonder if the food thing is bothering him again? Maybe he just will never be able to eat and I'll have to nurse him until his wife takes over? Goody.

Robyn and the kids came over after preschool. We had a good visit despite the very moody Olivia. I mostly tried to just ignore her (Olivia... not Robyn...). It's always nice to have someone around who understands the depths of sleep deprivation.

Jeff went and helped Rose with her resume tonight. He loves doing resumes. He's strange. She was very appreciative and bought him a bottle of Bailey's, a shoe shine kit and a nice card. She also sent home a Valentines card for us and a cool puzzle (100 piece dino!) for the girls. It was a nice pick me up.

I made a very yummy stir fry with a Thai peanut sauce. I just winged it and used coconut milk, peanut butter, couple drops of hot sauce, sesame oil and soy sauce. It was yummy! I did brocolli, carrots, califlower and celery and tossed it all with flax rotini. I'm thinking soup for dinner for me tonight.

I really have nothing more to say but I'm bored so... hmmm...

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