Monday, May 01, 2006

Guilt... and other things

We have these friends... we used to be SUPER close to them and hung out like every single day for over a year. Then we moved to our house in May 2004, they had adopted in january of 2004 and all of a sudden they had no time for us. I mean no time. We kept inviting them to do things... they always begged off. They always were too tired, too sick, too busy. Eventually we got frusterated and just stopped asking them to do things. We see them on kids birthdays, Christmas... ummm... the very odd time when Jeff pops over to their house and they actually let him past the front door. I know they really are busy, she works nights, he's getting a business running, but COME ON! They honestly could make some time for us.

But... the woman of the couple is Wiccan. I know she would have enjoyed the ritual yesterday. I know her kid would have had a great time. I know Jeff would have loved spending time with his best friend. And yet I didn't invite them. Why? I guess I just got tired of being turned down and put off. I didn't want to be turned down once again. I want to spend time with people who actually WANT to spend time with me. Because they want to, not because they have to. Ahhh... guilt. Gotta love it.

On a happier note... I LOVE my best friends little guy. Just love him. I am his goddess mother (lol!) and he's about 8 months old and the cutest, sweetest little man in the world! He loves to snuggle. We were playing a game where I whisper sweet nothings in his ear and he just lays his head against me... ahhhh... heaven in a baby package. His big sister and Olivia are bestest friends too and that makes it very cool. Maddy really needs a best friend. I guess come kindergarten that will happen. I can't wait until her ballet end of the year recital. They are doing Peter Pan and she is being a pink rainbow fish (?) I don't remember any fish in Peter Pan ... lol! I guess they need something for the littlest ones to do.

I got another email from a former friend the other day. I almost didn't see it as Jeff had set up a filter for me in my email so her stuff goes directly there. She was very aggressive towards me when I was cutting off our friendship and I didn't need that shit. The email she sent was very nice and thoughtful but I just can't GO there again you know? I'm unsure whether to write her back or not...

Well jeff is out at aforementioned best friends... cutting some wood to make a stand for our center console we bought for the van like two months ago ;) I'm on my own... kidlets have been in bed for a couple hours now and that is niiiiiicccceeee...

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