"all done mama, alllll done!"

especially NOT the children!

Mr. Phoenix decided at 2:47am that he was "all done" sleeping and I should get up and amuse him. Needless to say I was not amused... in the slightest.

He screamed for 1.5 hours... right in my ear. He would not be soothed, nursed, cuddled... I ended up wrapping him in a blanket, rocking back and forth and shushing vigorously. All the while Jeff and I are fighting because "he wants his wife and life back" and "phoenix is manipulating me."

O... K...

I know that Jeff was just ranting and I can respect that. But I WILL NOT let Phoenix cry it out and I WILL NOT leave the room and let him scream and I WILL NOT let myself feel guilty for tending to my infant sons needs... even if that means I ignore some of my own needs. I won't. I will not. It's not going to happen. Ever.

I know that Jeff has needs. I do. But at 2:47 at night when he's already been sleeping for an hour the only need he has right then is sleep. I told him to go into the living room and crash on the couch so he could get some sleep. He chose instead to rant and rave for an hour. So he made the choice to not sleep as I see it.

I am tired of being an all night buffet. I am tired of being on beck and call. I am tired. Period. But this is the way that we chose a long time ago to raise our children and I am not changing it now. Besides... jeff does none of the nighttime parenting anyways. When he's the one getting up 3-4 times a night then he gets to choose how, when and where our son sleeps.

I love my husband. I love my son. I want to make both happy. But when it comes down to it Phoenix will only be a baby for a short period of time. If I meet his needs now (like I did for both girls) in the short term it will have great rewards for the long term. I am trying my very hardest to make my husband happy and respect his needs. His house is clean, there is almost always dinner on the table (and often it's what he's requested), he can go out whenever he wants, if he wants sex he only has to ask. I sit and talk to him about his interests, I let him slack off on the housework and pick up the pieces afterwards... what the fuck else can I do?????

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG.

Fuck I am so... tired. Tired of being in charge of EVERYONES happiness.

:)

I have readers! Yayyy! Thank you all for checking in with me and I *heart* you all :)

So the last week has been interesting. Finally tonight the trailer lights are working (thank you for lending us your husband yet again Robyn!!!) Faulty grounds, wiggly wires... meh. It's fixed and working though and that's all that matters to me! It's also insured, has a new vent hatch, new hitch thingy... it's all good to go.

Phoenix is not a happy camper though. We decided to try him on some cheerio's to see if his wheat allergy had subsided. Yah. It has not. So his poor little inner butt cheeks are all moist rashed and bleeding. I'm changing him AS SOON as he poops (every 1/2 hour or so) and cleaning him well, slathering him with Calendula cream and doing all I can to get him to heal. He's having lots of naked butt time as well. Robyn suggested Grapefruit seed extract but since it's not fungal or yeast I'm not sure if it will help. I might try just to see. Anyone have any tried and true recipes?

The girls had a great day. Talia and Danika the 14 and 10 year olds from next year came over and played hide and seek with them for a couple of hours! It kept them very amused. They are also taking them for a walk tomorrow to the ice cream shop so that should be fun for them :) I am really enjoying having older kids next door. My girls just hero worship them. Then tonight while we worked on the trailer, cleaned the van, spliced lights... they played mommy and baby in and out of the van and had a blast. They both went to bed without any meltdowns by 8pm and all is well with the world!

Jeff is over at Chris's right now. Something to do with little alien space ships? Colour me confused ;)

Well I better make Maddy's lunch and get her things ready for school tomorrow... and I hear Jeff's van :)

Anyone listening?

That should get your attention ;)

Robyn just finished her first year of blogging and since I've been doing it for about three years I thought I'd ask for comments from readers too! Let me know you are here and that you love (or hate!) me!!!

Please :)

Oh to be young and stupid...

and that's all I'll say on that subject.

I'm in the kitchen, making dinner with P on my back. We're grovin to Pat Benitar (Love is a Battlefield... which is really is) and making chicken catchatory (and I know I butchered that but I am far too lazy to go look it up.)

I got two of my new skirts today. I'm in love.

Maddy's play date went well.

I had far more to say but now I'm pissed and fuming for a friend so I'll end now.

Slightly guilty...

feeling that is. My wonderful hubby is currently cleaning the kitchen. But not only is he cleaning the kitchen, he's cleaning the kitchen with my bitchy teething baby on his back so I can surf the net and drink my tea. Now THAT'S a good husband :)

My five year will be the death of me. I swear if she is rude, mean or freaks out at me one more time I will lose my mind. It's like she has completely forgot how to speak nicely, be nice to her sister, share, or have any rational logical thought. Of course I play into it and get in a battle of wills with her when I KNOW the logical thing to do is say "when you are ready to speak to me nicely I will talk to you then"... She's behaving like a two year old right now and since I have a three year old and an almost one year old I'm so not fucking interested. At all. In the slightest. She was just horrible terrible yesterday and today. I'm so done.

Well the tent trailer is up and wired. Course the wiring does not work and we don't know why. Which means we have to bug Mike again and I'm not sure he'll be too impressed about that. We spent all today cleaning, washing dishes and putting stuff back in the trailer. I pretty much have everything utensil/dishes wise that I need. I'm making lists like crazy.

We went to NR Motors today to drool over the new tent trailers. You know... not much has changed in 30 years ;) Different colours... same layout... heavier though! The big tent trailers that have bathrooms and stuff are WAY to heavy for our van to pull. The new tent trailers that are the same size as ours outweigh ours by about 600 lbs as well. We did find a new hatch cover (19.99) trailer light (12.99) longer ball mount (49.99)... that will bring the trailer total (free trailer) up to around $350. lol.

We saw the funkiest camper (Robyn you guys gotta buy it!) for about $25,000. It has two pull outs and a propane fireplace! A huge bedroom in the back (bedroom!!!) big kitchen, tons of floor space. It was the coolest camper evah! We saw tons of 5th wheels (used and new) and some of the 7 year old ones were going for like 12,000. I drooled. I could totally get used to camping like that ;)

Jeff and the baby are downstairs doing laundry now. Loki's around eating his bull penis (yep.. bully sticks are dried bull peni... yuck) and the cats are laying around shedding as cats are wont to do.

Madeline has a play date tomorrow. Emma and Kendra are coming here for a couple hours after school. I'll make them some lemonade and popcorn, send them outside to play and be done with it. I need to fold laundry, clean the bathroom and wash floors tomorrow. I hope I have the energy to do it!

Well off to surf some more. Facebook is sucking my soul so I should go check it out some more ;)

Dinner

Tonight is going to be super yummy! I'm doing Penne whole wheat pasta with a four cheese sauce and sprinkled with fresh green onions. Baked chicken breast with cumin and pepper, peaches and cream corn. For dessert I'm doing baked apples with brown sugar, butter and cinnamon.

I'm drooling already and I have no even started cooking yet ;)

Yawn

I'm tired! It's been a very busy couple of days. Last night was Jeff's conference pub night and he was preforming stand up comedy. He rocked down the house hard core! Everyone had a great time and we got to eat yummy appetizers and chat. Afterwards we went out for dinner (because the girls were already at Grandma's) and we got back there at about 8:45ish. We were home by 9:30 and the girls went right to bed.

Jeff did a couple of things around the house and crashed. I was in bed by 12:30ish. Phoenix slept okay (went to bed at 10:15, woke at 1 am, 3:45am, 6am and 9am? somewhere around there) He's already back in bed for a nap.

Today is a school day for Madeline and I'm hoping we'll set up the tent trailer tonight so I can start getting stuff ready for may long weekend! I popped it up a bit and found the crank so we're good to go. Apparently Mike is going to help us wire the van and I want him to look at the furnace for us as well.

I need to tidy the house, do the dishes, sweep, vacuum... laundry. Eat. You know... normal stuff ;)

A picture post!

I've been asking Jeff to take a good picture of me for ages... apparently I clean up well ;) I won't show you the pics BEFORE makeup ;)

Madeline is nursing her pig... olivia her snail?

Evil Phoenix just learned how to crawl. Apparently it will be our undoing ;)

Slinging with Daddy in Fort George Park

I am sooooo cute

Model? Madeline?

I yar lazy...

Today at least. All I did off that list was put the diapers up to wash. Oh and I made dinner. That was it.

I did however do a photo montage of Madeline with Phoenix sitting on my lap.. check it out!

I made Eggs Benedict for dinner and we had berries (blue, black and razz...) for dessert. It was uber yummy.

Olivia coloured and played all afternoon. I took part in her imaginary play by feed her oats and water out of her bucket (pretend oats and water), brushed her mane and sent her around picking up "people" to give them rides. Oh she was a horse if you didn't guess.

Jeff picked up Maddy today but then showed up at home without her! Emma wanted her to come play and Tammy (Emma's mom) was keen so she went straight home with them. Jeff picked her up at 5:45 after work so I only had two kids all day. Strange as it was... I missed her :)

She came home very grouchy and upon further investigation found that she took one bite of her sandwich and maybe two bite sized pieces of watermelon for lunch. She ate her two picks and a banana but nothing else other than that! No wonder! She ate a ton at dinner (two whole english muffins, 1.5 eggs, jelly and a whole bowl of berries) and then it was bedtime. Well she was so bloody rude to us from the time that she got home and THEN said she was going to live with Emma. Okay. So we talked about how the way she speaks hurts us and our feelings and we talked about everything good about our house and family and asked her to think about that. Well then she burst into tears and sobbed her guts out. She never used to be empathetic at all about anything, now she's emo girl extreme. Gawd. So I soothed and tucked her in. She better sleep in tomorrow.

Jeff's out for his painting night. Phoenix had a late nap so he's currently sitting on the floor eating a stacking cup. He ate four rice crackers today (he LOVES them) and nursed a ton. He's finished his antibiotics so we'll take him in this week and make sure everything looks good.

Loki and Frodo are doing their nightly "kick eachothers ass" session. lol.

I need to move my ass!

All I've done this morning is clean the kitchen and run the dishwasher. Oh and I picked up some dirty clothes... and I talked to my best friend on the phone. Yah... that's it.

So my TODO list today is...

vacuum house
wash diapers
make dinner
declutter basement
bring doll cradle upstairs, a freecycler will be here at 4:30
change sheets on our beds

get moving Tammy!!!!

On this day...

Two years ago we got confirmation that we were pregnant. Our wee baby Violet only stayed with us for 9 weeks but she's never far from my mind and heart. I know that were she to have stayed, Phoenix would not be here... and I know deep down that her soul is a part of his... but it hits me every april and may and it probably always will.

So I'm a bit blue today. I don't expect anyone to remember and I'm not sad at all that they didn't for who else remembers the day you found out you were pregnant except oneself? But I could really use a hug... or some chocolate. Three hours till Jeff is home...

Still thursday ;)

Maddy had a wonderful playdate today. When the twins mom brought her home she said she was "so incredibly polite and has the best manners!" Apparently the three girls had a fantastic time running around screaming their heads off ;) Snack was great as well according to Madeline and she's eager to repeat this arrangement :)

Olivia had lots of fun at preschool. Her and Jeff got there a bit early so she was showing him around and introducing him to all of the toys. lol!

Phoenix never did nap but it was nice and quiet and both girls were out having fun. That works for me!

Funny thing. We were out at superstore doing a bit of grocery shopping last night. Jeff, I and all three kids. The girls were in their jammies.. when we meet Jean, John and THEIR two kids... both in THEIR jammies. Superstore. Where AP parents meet and have social lives. Proving that you can have fun WITH your kids! Maddy and Elisabeth were ecstatic of course! That reminds me, Jean called today and I have not called her back yet. I think I'll invite them over for an afternoon next week some time.

I was called a martyr today. Simply because I don't dump my kids at every opportunity. Now even if I WANTED to dump my kids (which I don't) where the hell would I dump them? My mom is not interested in watching them, I'm not going to bug Rose to do it as she's got enough on her plate right now and that leaves me with having to pay someone. Well I'm sorry but I'm not going to PAY someone to watch my kids while I shop. I can bloody well take them WITH me. They are my kids! Sure they annoy me at times but I *gasp* actually like spending time with them. (horror upon horrors.) And if it's so important that I shop sans kids... that's why I'm married :) He can watch the kids while I go. Is it really that hard for people to see that maybe I don't want/need to ditch my kids constantly??? I get my time in the evenings to relax. While they are small that is all I really need.

/rant

Frodo is screaming at the top of the stairs. He's too lazy to haul his fat ass over the gate. The gate that needs to be there because Loki likes to eat kitty roca at any opportunity. Phoenix is beside me chewing on his toothbrush. The kids are in bed and Jeff's still at work. We ordered in a panago pizza and wings for dinner and it was very yummy. We had four pieces left so Jeff came home and had dinner with us.

this is really a nothing kinda post isn't it? Hmmm...

Time off!

I am having a once in a lifetime day... BOTH of my girls are somewhere else and Phoenix and I are home alone! Olivia has preschool today and a mom at Maddy's school offered to have Maddy come and play for the afternoon! She said that since Phoenix had an ear infection and I looked tired as all hell that it might be nice for me to have a break. There's a change! No one EVER offers to give me a break! Needless to say... I took advantage ;)

So Phoenix is sitting on the floor, snuffling like a pig, wiggling his eyebrows at me as I type and generally just being in a good mood. That's also a nice change! Oh he's sleeping sooooo much better now. Good 3-4 hour chunks, nursing for 15 minutes and then heading back into dreamland. My supply didn't take a hit from my period this month either so he's getting tons of good healing milk just when he needs it! He's less than impressed about the taste of the Biaxin but he takes it ;)

Jeff works a night shift tonight so the girls and I are on our own for dinner... I wonder who does debit at the door? lol!

I found out on tuesday that my "mom" lost her job... her job that she's been at for 20 years! They are "reorganizing" and apparently she does not have the skills that they need her to have. I'm sad for her. She's 57 and even though she is the YOUNGEST 57 year old I've ever knows it's tough to be so uncertain about your future at that stage of your life. Jeff's helping her with her emat questions and I'll do whatever I can to help as well.

I finally got a box packed for "Babycatcher" a live journal person that I read :) She lost her baby Abby shortly after birth last year and she is due with another little girl this year at the same time! I'm sending some newborn cloth dipes, wool, bigger dipes and a fuzzy suprise (A full sized Care Bear "Wish Bear" which I thought was appropriate.) I'll get that mailed this weekend.

Well the native (baby) is getting restless. He needs a boob and since mine is the only one around... I guess it will have to do!

me :)

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And yet again...

My baby fiend has a double ear infection. Apparently according to the doctor (who was very nice and very thorough) his right ear is ready to burst and his left ear is not far behind. Nice.

I've ended the P sleeping log. Cause well.. he just is not. Sleeping that is. Two nights ago he screamed half the night (by that I mean around 5 hours all told. Shrill high pitched screaming.) Last night he screamed for about 8 hours all told. Today he spiked fevers on and off, was lethargic, napped on and off all day (but only on people) and whined/screamed and moaned whenever he was not sleeping. So I finally decided to take him in.

Hence.. double ear infection. The doctor figures it's bacterial from all the freaking goop in his ear so he's now on Bactrim twice a day for seven days (heavy duty bacteria fighting antibiotic) and we also have a ear drop that actually is an anesthetic to numb his ear canal. I'll send jeff out tomorrow for more Bio-K probiotics. I also picked up some non-alcohol gripe water to help with his tummy which will be very upset from these antibiotics. Oh and some motrin. Lots of motrin.

Hell yah I'm totally stocked up on allopathics right now. I won't even apologize and try to logisize it. I'm fucking tired. My baby is in fucking pain. Nuff said. Let the crunchy police kick my ass. I don't fucking care. I treat everything else homeopathically.

We had dinner at my grandmothers tonight. My parent's, favourite aunt and uncle, my two cousins and one of their boyfriends was there. I had a great time (other than dealing with P) and he got to be snuggled and comforted by many sets of loving arms. Oh it was SO NICE to have a wee break. The girls chased bunnies, talked to ducks and barked back at a dog. Played in and out of the barn and were really good. Then they washed dishes with Sadie and Britt (my cousins... 19 and 24) and had a blast.

Yesterday we went to Alex (my friend Jean's) birthday party at Ft. George park. It was lots of fun. It was just them, their immediate family and us :) Lots of yummy food and good people. The girls had a blast running around with Elisabeth and Phoenix napping in the babyhawk the whole time. We did some running around after dinner, stopped by Al and Roses just after 8 and then got the kids into bed at a decent time (of course that's when the screaming started and didn't stop!!!)

Well Phoenix just started crying because Jeff tried to stop him from biting his leg. lol. Other than that he's been really happy for the last two hours! Motrin and ear drops will do that to you.

I hope to get some sleep tonight. It's times like this when I wish Grammie was around to help.

edited to add: Jeff found ear goo on the bed when he was getting things ready for Phoenix tonight so it drained a wee bit during his nap today... blerg.

Friday

A school day for Madeline today. I got Jeff to take the laptop to work so I couldn't be on it... lol. I wanted to spend the whole day with no distractions from my kiddo's. So Phoenix and I got out of bed just after 9 when Olivia came in to wake me up. After breakfast we read 8 books (we got our Scholastic press order in) and then got dressed. Phoenix, Liv, Loki and I went outside and played ball and tag despite the coldness. We had smoothies for lunch and then Phoenix had a nap... I passed out sitting up on the couch while Olivia coloured ;)

We went and picked up Maddy at 2:30 and played outside when we got home from our walk. Then hung out, cleaned the house, made dinner (organic taco meat on macaroni and cheese with brussell sprouts and corn) and went to Rose's for a visit. I didn't see Madeline the whole time we were there... she was outside playing with the boys!

So it was a late night for the kids and a busy day tomorrow. Ballet for both and then a birthday party for Phoenix's friend Alex (my friend Jean little guy.)

P log

Woke at 3ish am and nursed... and then again at 4ish am sometime?
Woke at 8:45 am and nursed... then was basically up for the day. Not too bad!

April 20
Ate some dehydrated apple around lunchtime (about a teaspoon)
Ate some applesauce (about three tablespoons!) with about two tablespoons of rice cereal after nursing at about 10pm. Threw up his hands and said very clearly "all done!"
Nursed at 11:30 and to bed after his quietude...

we'll see what the night brings ;)

Phoenix Log

I'm keeping a solid food and sleep log for the boy ;) Yes I'm that desperate to see any pattern and work on improving it! This two hours of sleep a night for me is going to put me over the edge soon!

So yesterday April 18.
Solid: some dehydrated apples, some organic brown rice cereal and organic applesauce
Quietude before bed
Fell asleep at 11pm. Woke 2 am and nursed. Woke 3:30 and burped. Woke 5:15 and nursed. Woke 9:30 am!!!!!! (so very good night!)

April 19
Solid: some dehydrated apples
Quietude morning and night
Fell asleep at 9:20 pm. Woke 12:10 am and nursed (I'm heading to bed now so I'll update in the morning... cross fingers!)

Today is a day...

Like no other day of course!

Our next door neighbors have their daughter/son in law/two girls (ages 10 and 14) living with them. They are getting very old (late eighties/early nineties) and are ready to move into an retirement home. Their family is taking care of getting the house and yard up to date and apparently are moving here for good from Australia. They are very very nice.

Sharon (the daughter) is a registered Nurse Midwife and has started a business called "Family Health: Parenting Help and Education." Sounds great huh? Yah... she believes that babies should never rule the roost, should be sleeping through the night early on and should only eat every three hours. That if they are eating more often then that, something else is going on and that should be dealt with. Babies should have their own rooms and the family needs to not be baby centered.

She lives next door to me. I am a LLL leader. Hmmm.... how's this going to work?

She's planning on providing breastfeeding support, prenatal classes and post-natal support in sleeping, feeding and calming issues. My toes... feeling a bit stepped on ;)

I don't mind so much that she is providing breastfeeding support but she said to me that she would never be a LLL leader as we are not "structured" enough. Schedules have to be in place and maintained and none of this wishywashy stuff.

I get the feeling she thinks I am a slightly crappy parent for letting Phoenix rule my life with his sleeping issues, feeding issues and having him on the boob every 1.5 hours. Well Olivia nursed every 1.5 hours too and she turned out wonderfully!

Hmmm... just venting sorta. Cept I'm not mad or anything. Just kinda slightly bemused about it all. lol!

So Jeff bought me a new breadmaker yesterday. A new CUISINART breadmaker! It's pretty... all stainless steel and stuff. Oh and it makes REALLY good bread. Yum!

Today was the first session of mother goose for the spring. We only have 8 weeks and then off for summer. We had seven familes. It was all good. One mom was stressing way too freaking much about her daughter touching things. The whole time was "insert name... NO!" Annoying. She was 16 months old. Give her a break!

Another little boy was only one week older than Phoenix and seemed SO MUCH MORE ADVANCED. So much. He was crawling everywhere. Totally didn't care that his mother was there. Sat in front of me the whole time. In contrast my babe whined, clung to me, climbed me and nursed while I was supposed to be leading. I know he'll crawl ... but when? Maybe then he can freaking follow me instead of WHINING!

I've not been complaining about his sleep issues lately but they are many. He fights going to sleep, he fights STAYING asleep, he fights going back to sleep after nursing. Last night he went to bed at 11:30. Woke at 2 am to nurse. Then woke at 3:30, refused to nurse and SCREAMED for two hours. What he really wanted was for me to get out of bed and rock him but I am so exhausted I just couldn't. I rocked him in my arms for a bit until he didn't want that anymore. So I lay beside him with my hand on his back and slightly rocked him ... for two hours. I'm not sure when he fell asleep... I know when I woke I still had my hand on his back. I think we probably both gave in to sleep at the same time. I've never been able to sleep while a baby is crying ever.

I had bought some Boiron's Quietude quite a long time ago for him but never used it. You give one dose morning and night and it's supposed to help with sleep disorders in infants. Babes whole wake frequently, fight sleep and get fussy at night. I don't think he has a sleep disorder... I think he sleeps like crap because he does. This kid will never die of SIDS because he does not sleep long enough too! I'm hoping the Quietude makes his night waking shorter and just nursings.. not screamings.

My sister is not moving back to Canada. Boo Hiss. I really miss her.

Robyn and the gang are in Quesnel for two days and then dropping off her two kids at her mother in laws and then off to Edmonton for two/three days. Alone. With no kids. As good as that sounds right about now I couldn't leave my nursling. Dammit... I wish my conscience would leave me alone! lol! We're looking after their cats... Boots is a very stupid cat. They left town and left him outside so Jeff was over three times yesterday trying to get that damn cat to come it! Do you think he would? He'd get to the door and then run away! He finally got him in at lunch today... think he was finally hungry enough.

Well I should be sleeping. Liv has pre-k tomorrow and then kindy for Maddy on friday. Then a birthday party for Jean's little Alex on saturday. No rest for the wicked ;)

Clothes!

It's been FOREVER since I was able to buy some new clothes. There is always something else that comes up... and besides I have a really hard time buying hippie, patchy, my style clothes here in town. BUT I don't know WHY I never thought to buy EBAY!

So today I spent about $100 on three skirts but they'll do me for a very long time so I'm not panicked... they'll be the basis of my summer wardrobe. I just need to add a bunch of tank tops in matching colours and I'm good to go!

wanna see ;)

brown patchy

pink patchy

daisies and ladybug patchy

Yep I know I have eclectic tastes ;)

Where are my children?

because I hardly saw them today!!!

I got up at around 11ish. Got ready, got the kids ready and then Madeline, Phoenix and I went to visit my friend Jean and her two little people (Elisabeth is Maddy's age and Alex is Phoenix's.) From the time we arrived (around 1) to the time we left (about 5:30) I saw Madeline for 10 minutes. And that was enough time for the two girls to wolf down two muffins, some cheese and drink a glass of water.

They played dress-up, makeup, polly pockets... restaurant, sisters and school. They played and played and played... the had not ONE single fight, one argument, one issue. Not one. Not a single one. Was that really MY child I took over there today? I soooo need to her to play with her big friends more. She is such a likable person then!

While we were playing (well jean and I were gabbing non-stop for 5 hours and the boys sat and petted one another) Jeff and Olivia payed some bills and then went to the kids museum. Apparently they had a wonderful time and ended the trip with popcorn and nacho's with cheese sauce. Olivia has no food dye allergies ;)

So then we got pizza for dinner, cleaned up, I fed the babe and Jeff dropped me off to grocery shop. BY MYSELF! For almost two hours!!! Rose brought me home with my groceries, I walked in the door. Fed Phoenix. He fell asleep and went to bed by 10:30.

It was a busy busy day but wow was it a good one!

Photo montage!

Montage madness!

Of Mr. Phoenix :) Check it out!

Hmmm...

Random thoughts...

-I wonder what time Jeff gets lunch? I'm not "supposed" to call him at work anymore and apparently he's not calling me FROM work anymore so I actually don't have any idea when or if he's coming home. That's annoying.

-I put a set of tires up on freecycle. I had a taker. He came this morning and apparently I should have specified that they were CAR tires and not truck tires. I didn't realize that there was a difference. And then when he was here he tried to talk me into giving him my really nice iron padded lawn chairs... ummm no.

-I had the city knock on my door this morning. They were fiddling with our water shut off valve in the neighbors driveway and marveling at how OUR water valve was in THEIR driveway. I dunno why! I didn't build the house. So I had to turn on the water, turn off the water, turn on the water, turn off the water.... annoying.

-Loki has the runs. Again. Perhaps if he just ate HIS food and STOPPED EATING FUCKING CATSHIT he'd be solid. Now that we have a gate up that should stop.

-Our new neighbors are cool. She actually knocked on the door to ask if I needed anything from the "shops" as she was headed to superstore. She's Australian. I think I'd like to live there if they are all as nice as her :)

-Phoenix is trying very hard to crawl and pull up. This is resulting in a LOT of head wounds. Poor baby!

-I got next to no sleep last night. Normally I'd call my husband to complain and get sympathy but (see random thought #1)

-I need some companionship. I need an adult to talk to. Mikes home on days off though so I shouldn't bug Robyn... now that they actually like each other and enjoy spending time with one another ;) I might call Jean.

-LLL is tomorrow night. I need to get the key I suppose.

oh Jean is on the phone! Yay! Companionship!

Le sigh...

I'm all alooooone... there's noone here besiiiiide meeeeee...

Yep just another night at home. Being bored. lol! Jeff is out for his weekly painting "guy time" night. Part of his "taking time for himself" crusade. I was kinda hoping all of this would mellow him out a bit... maybe it takes longer for it to take effect?

All three kids are sleeping and Loki is hard at work destuffing a pink Dr. Seuss fish. Currently my house is COVERED in fluff but he's busy, not chasing cats and not peeing on my floor... you take what you can get ;)

Today was a pretty good day with the kids. Olivia had preschool and then when Robyn was dropping her off she mentioned that she had to go grocery shopping so I offered to take Jassy for the afternoon. She was awesome and they all had a great time. We played outside for almost two hours, blew bubbles, drew with chalk, rode bikes and scooters and played simon says. I know my kids had no problems falling asleep tonight!

I made "coney" fries and roasted cauliflower and broccoli for dinner tonight. I did homemade fries and then did some organic ground beef with taco seasonings for on top. It was so good!

I've eaten FAR too much chocolate the past three days. I feel blergy.

Well I think I might just lay down and sleep for a bit before jeff gets home.

Happy Bunny day!

The turkey is on, potatoes peeled. Baby tomatoes, cucumber and cheese are sliced and in the fridge. The house is clean, tablecloth on the table, kids are napping... eggs are boiling for deviled eggs. All the dishes, silverware and napkins are ready to put on the table. The butter is softening and the iced tea has brewed and is cooling. We are almost ready!

My mom is bringing a macaroni salad and my grandmother is bringing a dessert. Jeff and I did most of the deep cleaning yesterday so today was mainly just a tidy up. We both need to shower and get dressed though.

The kids loved their easter bunny loot :) They both got a hollow chocolate animal, chocolate eggs from the hunt, play-doh spring buckets, bubbles, stickers, chalk eggs, glow in the dark bracelets and a new book. Phoenix got a fuzzy puppy book and a Tigger dressed in a bunny costume. Grandma Rose got them bunny ears and a stuffed bunny for Phoenix. They were pretty excited :) I don't want easter to get all commercial in this house. I think 20-30 bucks per kid is MORE than enough. Especially knowing that my parents AND my grandmother bought them easter stuff too!

Anyways off to chat with jeff while he's showering ;)

Dance Festival!

Well we got a surprise phone call today from Maddy's ballet teacher Tina... their group was chosen to take part in the "Gala Event" tonight (the best of the best). Wonderful news! Perhaps a bit more notice would have been nice...

There were 30 acts tonight. Ballet, jazz, tap, highland, modern... So much fun! So much talent!!! Kids from 5-17 ... very cool. Maddy's group was the ONLY group chosen that was under the age of 10 years! Most of them were at least 12 and up. So cool! And we got to see their adjudication sheet and they scored 83/100. We are so very proud :)

Pictures! (no flash photography allowed during the performance.. so it's all before and after)

Madeline after the performance, making a very strange pose

Sitting on the stage after the performance

Backstage in the gym... one final practice (the purple haired girl is a stand in)

Morgan, Cameron, Madeline and Molly all posing so pretty

Madeline and her ballet Teacher Miss. Tina

A pre-show pose

Gorgeous ringlets. This is what 1.5 hours gets you folks!

Stage Make-up. I swear to you... she really is only just 5!

Just... drained.

I can honestly say that this has been one of the most emotionally and spiritually draining days of my life. I can't say when I've felt this horrible before... I think an all time low has been hit.

But then I had to suck it all up and put on a happy face for Madeline and her spring dance festival. Their group took first for "Let's go fly a kite" in large group, demi character 8 and under. I'm proud of her. She danced wonderfully, behaved impeccably and had a wonderful wonderful time. My mom and dad, grandmother and cousin Sadie showed up to watch. I'm glad she had some supporters. It was very important to her that people be there to cheer her on.

I'm going to eat some french onion soup and go to bed. I may not get up again ever... if I have to have another day like this.

wow....

I had my healing/reading and cleansing with Carmen St. Pierre yesterday http://www.amrasspirit.com/index.htm It was fantastic!!!!

Many of the details are far too personal for me to post to a public site (and the people who need to know already know) but I will say that it was a life altering experience. I'm uplifted spiritually and emotionally and even physically.

I am starting a new weightloss journey today as well. More exercise, less snack foods at night, more getting real with myself. Everyday in every way I am getting thinner and thinner and thinner. I feel as if I can really do this... I am in charge of my body and all I need is will power. I have a ton of will power (no fat jokes please ;) ) and succeed at almost everything that I do. So why should this be any different?

Well off to shop and get stuff done while Madeline at at rehersal. The spring dance festival is tomorrow for her and she's very very excited :)

Ouch...

Whine... I have a massive massive headache. Bad to the point where it's hurting to look at the computer screen. I just want my baby to go to sleep... but to get him to do that I have to nurse him... and right now that idea is making my skin crawl. I don't want to be touched, I want to sleep. For hours and hours.

I'm worried... my sister has been feeling uber crappy for months now and upon seeing a doctor today for an MRI was informed that she has three spots on her brain. Mostly likely MS or Lupus. I've NEVER heard her more upset. I kept it together long enough to get off the phone and then lost it :( I just want my sister home so I can take care of her, snuggle with Kylee and lend some support.

Blah. What a day.

:)

The sun is shining, Olivia's at preschool, Maddy's watching tv and Phoenix is sleeping. The puppy is chewing a bone and the cats are snoozing. Almost all caught up on laundry and my kitchen is clean. Maddy is mostly over her red food dye induced insanity and while Phoenix did wake every two hours to nurse last night, he was in bed from 12 midnight to almost 11am and didn't spend any time screaming.

So it's a good day. I'm heading over to superstore tonight to pick up some of that 5 hpt stuff that Robyn got for depression. I need it to help keep me on an even keel. I actually got my period today so that explains some of my mood for the past week... I need to find a way to take some more time for myself. Whether it's a nightly walk, shopping with friends or just reading in my room for a portion of every night with no kids around.

I started with "the sun is shining" and I'll end with ...

THE SUN IS SHINING.

Is it possible?

That my baby is just truly this bitchy?

He sleeps well for three nights and then pulls a week of 5 hour total sleep nights where he's screaming, bitching and whining at me for the rest of the time. I can't leave the room or he loses it, even if someone else is holding him and there is nothing physically wrong with him. I can't go pee without taking him, brush my hair without holding him, make a sandwich without bringing him into the kitchen. He can no longer sit on the floor and play with his toys... he has to sit either right beside me on the couch or on me while whining the entire time. Daddy is not cutting it either. He's happy with jeff for about two seconds before screaming for me.

I know he's teething... and he still has this snotty nose (I think we're going on a month now?) I wonder if he has another ear infection? I dunno. He was so gassy and crampy last night again... I think it could have been the large amounts of cheese that I ate. Oh fuck I don't know. I want to take him to the doctors again over this food issue of his but all I'm going to hear is "let him cry" and "he'll just have to learn to deal." Gawd I'm so tired of this fussy fussy fussy baby.

Madeline is STILL DRIVING ME NUCKING FUTS! She's being hyper, rude, mean... listens to nothing I say. It sounds food related but who knows... I don't know what else she could have got into. I'm SO TIRED OF DEALING WITH HER. Jeff just reminded me that she had popcorn at the dog agility show yesterday that was yellow. Fucking hell. GAWD I'M SO TIRED OF THIS.

Olivia is fine. She's mellow and a love. Can I sell my other two and just keep her? Don't tell my other kids I said that.

So yah yesterday we went to the dog agility trials and took Mr. Loki to check out the scene. He made friends with a female agility Pem, two Bernese Mountain dogs and two Nova Scotia Duck Tolling retrievers. I got to talk to tons of people and get info about how to get started. It was in the agriplex and it was lots of fun. Loki was a hit with everyone and we had all the kids (and most of the adults) come up to ask if they could pet him at some point. LOL!

I'm stoked about May long weekend in Lac La Hache. We're taking our tent trailer, my best friend and her hubby just bought a truck and camper so neither of us have to tent it! Yayyy! We've decided we'll drink beer, play cards and act like our parents did when we were kids (minus the pot smoking ;) ) It will be nice to have a place to cook and a heater. A roof over our heads and a bed not on the ground.

Well bitchy baby is getting even bitchier (is that possible?) Should go boob him.

Footprint

I was thinking tonight (while nursing my babe down to sleep at 2 am) about what it means to be pagan in regards to our footprint on this earth. Obviously part of being pagan and choosing this path is my devotion to nature and to the Mother Goddess and a huge part of what it means to be pagan (to me) is how to preserve our earth and ensure that it is here and clean for future generations.

It's funny because when I was led to the Pagan path (4 years ago) I realized that in my heart and with my actions I already WAS Pagan. I was Wiccan in my soul for a long time before I became aware. Becoming a parent strengthened my resolution to make a difference in our waste management and to become healthier not only spiritually but physically. We cloth diaper (three kids now and very little disposable diapers to last for the next 500 years in our landfill), breastfeed (no formula cans to dispose of, nor toxic plastic bottles to feed our babies with) babywear with slings and wraps (no plastic non-biodegradable strollers to clutter the garbage dumps) and use very little in the way of baby "gadgets" (no swings, exersaucers etc to hang around for a long time after our babes are grown.)

We eat natural foods in as close to their natural state as possible and buy locally whenever we can. We eat organic local meat to ensure that animals are being treated fairly. We use ecologically friendly cleaners and personal hygiene items. Recycle, Freecycle and donate. Drive a vehicle that is good on gas and buy pre-loved.

What about you? How important is being friendly to the earth for you? Is it part of your pagan path? Is it something you think about?

Why?

Edited to remove very large rant about a very tired husband... who really did not deserve to be ranted about.

I may have no other option...

I just might have to sell Madeline to the gypsies.

As a little PSA... no name chocolate puddings DO NOT SAY they have food dyes in them... but they have food dyes in them. Trust me. This is the only thing different in her diet and she's been a fucking pyschopath for the past two days.

She got up this morning, woke up her sister. Then chased her around the house until she screamed. Then ran screaming down the hallway and woke up Phoenix. I got up and walked into the living room to find CEREAL spread EVERYWHERE! She apparently took handfulls of cereal out of her bowl and threw it around the room.

Okay at this point I point to her and tell her to go to her room. I tell her she can come out when she's 18. For the next couple hours she continues to yell "when can I come OUT! when can I come OUT!" So then she had to stay in her room until lunch. I did let her out afterwards... until she took a teddy bear, whacked phoenix in the chest with it and he fell backwards knocking his head on the floor. Back in her room...

repeat this sequence (with different bad/out of character actions) all afternoon.

She was in bed by 7:30.

Thank Fuck.

Yum!

The girls and I are chillin out with our afternoon smoothie. Today it's organic whole milk, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, bananas, raw honey and one organic raw egg. It's soooo good!!! All the berries were of the frozen variety and so it's nice and frosty cold.

Phoenix is napping. I took him in the bedroom, changed his diaper, nursed him for 10 minutes... he kept doing the latch on latch off thing so I flipped him over, rubbed his back for a bit and he passed out! Sweet!

It's a freaking blizzard outside. Winds up to 50km/hour. Nice. Snowing and blowing. When the fuck is spring going to be here??? I want to replant my garden, watch my iris's bloom, reseed the lawn. ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE DAMN SNOW! /rant

I've got Mother Goose tonight. I'm looking forward to it. It's our second to last session of the winter season and then we break for a couple weeks for spring break. I wonder what attendance will be like?

I gave Loki a good grooming, cleaned his ears and clipped his nails. I like his nails uber short (like hidden in the fur short) and he just lays on his back with his four little paws waving in the air. It's adorable! Oh and Jeff got informed by a woman at the library yesterday that he HAVE to clicker train and that if your puppy is not totally trained in all areas by the time they are three months then they never will be. Ummm. Okay. Can you say fruit cake?

We put in Madeline's scholatic book order today. I got some sweet books!!! I love how cheap they all are! I went a little wild ;) Oh well it's for the good of the school right?

Well I'm going to put a movie on the for kids and have a wee nap.

Coffee anyone?

Well Jeff and I finally made it to a pagan coffee meet... we never usually go because I don't want to have to ask Rose to babysit (she babysits her other grandkids often enough) but I thought I'd ask her anyways. It's been since before Christmas the last time that Jeff and I got out together without the girls (the babe was with us of course.)

We met one other member there and chatted the night away. We headed back to get the girls at around 10:30 but ended up staying and visiting till 11:30!!! I was chatting with Rose about her daughter Michelle... apparently she feels unnapreciated and unloved. I'm not sure why... I know I have been enjoying her company when she is around and I make an effort to include her in conversations.

Phoenix is still up and getting his diaper changed. I'm crossing fingers that he sleeps after this.

This is basically a nothing post... I don't have much to say apparently!

hrmmm...

I had a disturbing conversation with my sister tonight...

She explained that she's "read all the research" and if they ever have a son they'll still circumcise him... Well my darling sister please read some more on this subject.. please?

http://noharmm.org/home.htm

is a good place to start. I can't even fathom thinking that a part of your baby boy needs to be cut off :( It can interfere with breastfeeding, it can lead to DEATH in some cases. It's an elective surgery... ELECTIVE.

It's late and I need sleep... please do some more reading?

I hab a cowd

Blerg. I am ill. I have a cold. It's the same cold thats been threatening me all week but finally hit. Blerg.

I'm also very hungover... I never ever drink. In fact that last time I got drunk was almost two years ago! But Robyn and I decided we were going to nurse our babes, put them to bed and drink. And so we did. A bunch of beer, case of coolers and case of Mudslides later...

Blerg. My head is pounding. We had a great time though. We talked straight for 6 hours, laughed our asses off and bonded more big time. Now if only we could remember the night? ;)

Jeff steam cleaned the carpets tonight. Loki promptly barfed front and center in the living room. Jeff asked to let the cats up but you just know they'll drag their asses everywhere because they know the carpet has just been done.

We bought Loki two new stuffies today (from VV) a rope bone, a rope and nylon frisbee and a pack of tennis balls. We made the score of the century at Value village... two pewter goblets that are from Birks originally with the original price tags on them. We paid $6 for the pair... they were $95 each!!! Sweet :)

Well Jeff is watching Open Season... again. Phoenix went to bed at 8:30pm and I'm about have a nap on the couch :)

Long long long long LONG day

I need quiet. Lots of quiet.

Phoenix waiting until I got into bed last night at 2am and decided that no... he was not in fact interested in sleeping at all and that yes... he was going to bug me until I got up with him.

So Phoenix and I watched 30 minute meals, 90210 (yes it's on at 3am) and then Mad about You. He finally nursed back to sleep again at 4:30am!

I took Loki out for a pee, snuggled him a bit then crated him and curled up on the couch expecting to be awoken at any second by the fiend...

9am rolled around... He slept for 4.5 hours IN A ROW!!!! A ROW!!!!!! wow. Then I curled into bed with him and we slept until noon. And then the day started. We went to...
M&M meats for chicken and frozen berries. Ospika pet and farm supplies for Innova EVO to supplement his chicken backs and hearts. Another place for cat litter. We then hit Shoppers Wholesale for organic fruits and veggies. Lunch and dropped frozen foods off, I nursed and changed Phoenix and then back on the road. Olivia, Phoenix (in the babyhawk) and I shopped at Superstore for the next hour and a half. FINALLY we came home. Fed the kids and relaxed... for about an hour.

Jeff took the girls and went to pick up our order from our local Metaphysical store and then picked up stuff from Ave Maria (health food store) for me. Came home, picked up fiend and I and we went to the mall to exchange Jeff's shorts and look for Jassy's birthday pressie. She wanted Dusty the talking vacuum... not at superstore, not at zellers...

So at 9pm we all headed up to Hell*Mart where we FINALLY located a talking vacuum. Purchased said vacuum and came home. It's now 10pm and we've been on the road since 1pm. Got the kids into bed. Jeff and I finally ate. Played with the very neglected today puppy and did some cleaning.

Phoenix is STILL AWAKE but ready to be nursed and put to sleep I think. I hope.

Tomorrow is parent viewing day at ballet so I get to sit through back to back classes with both girls. Then Jassy's birthday party and we stay until jeff gets off work at 5:45. Then a family night movie with the kids.

Sunday... sunday we relax hopefully.

I'm all alone...

Well Jeff is here too... but all three kids were IN BED and ASLEEP by 9:40 tonight. That's a record... that has not happened anytime in the last two months. Yay!

We have a loverly dinner tonight at a chinese buffet. I had two plates and I am STILL stuffed 7 hours later. The girls enjoyed an assortment of fries, shrimp, chow mein and sushi... yep sushi.

Olivia loves sushi. She loves the nori (seaweed), the rice the fish... she loves it all. She gobbled down all that jeff had shared with her and then wanted her own plate full of sushi. So imagine if you will a teeny little pixie baby walking through a restaurant with a plate full of sushi, exclaiming to anyone that will listen that she "looooves sushi!" Adorable. Phoenix ate his toes and his toys and Madeline munched oodles of noodles. Everyone that walked by had to admire our children (and probably marvelled at how well behaved they were!) and that was nice :)

After dinner we took our kids to (ssshhhh) Mcdonalds for some ice cream and so they could play in playland. They had a great time and got to shake some sillies out. We went to Zeller's after and bought a new toilet seat (wahoo) with a built in potty seat (super wahoo) and then came home.

Loki and Frodo chased eachother in cirles around the house while I talked to my sister (who incidentally is NEVER COMING HOME ;) ) It goes something like this... Loki chases Frodo, F stops, hisses and keeps running, L barks, F spats, L playbows and the chase is on. All night... You would think they would eventually get tired of this game... nope!

Well Jeff is asleep on the couch and I just took his picture. Today is a ditl day!

Thursday is a day...

Now who could not love that little face!!!

I've had decent sleep for three nights in a row. THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW! He's had no solid food for six days in a row... noticing a correlation?

Last night he went to bed at 10:20pm. Nursed at 1:20am, 4:15am, 7:15am and 9:45am. Notice the three hour stretches there? THREE HOUR STRETCHES! Rockin dude! He wakes slightly, grunts, latches on, switches sides, passes out. I'm not sure he even really wakes up! Heaven. Really. Heaven heaven heaven. Oh I like him soooo much more than I did last week ;)

Madeline got her report card. She did awesome and showed improvement on her sharing skills. She's now up to par :) I got her book order sheet and got busy ordering books for birthdays and just because days. I love cheap books!

Last night was Mother Goose and though it was a small crowd it went fairly well. All busy boys and no girls (we usually only have two anyways) but not bad busy. Just busy.

Tonight we're going out for dinner. I'm not sure where actually... maybe the chinese buffet or Denny's. Something kid friendly and diet friendly for Madeline.

Well should get dressed. I just got out of the bath and Robyn will be home with Olivia fairly soon. Phoenix has been in bed asleep for over 2.5 hours so I imagine he'll be up soon. Maddy and I played Old Maid, Crazy Eights and did some school work together. The puppy is napping :)

Camera download ;)

So we finally go around to downloading the camera... let the past month commence!

Sigh... and this is what happens when good kids go bad. And their mom's beat them (or their cousins throw them face first into ice which is more likely...)

Loki!!! He's smiling :)

Loki head profile

Phoenix and Loki hanging out

Can you say bat ears? Come in space control!

Play?

Teeth... the source of all my hellish evenings

My darling children :) Excuse the look on Madeline's face... she was concussed at the time ;)

teeth?

He's getting at least one tooth (top left) and probably more. He screamed again for six hours last night. He has a wicked cold and his tummy is still pushing through the last of the solid foods.

Why oh why did I get the emo kid to end all emo kids? He's sensertive... so very sensertive (and yes I know I spelled that wrong.) He's annoying the ever living heck out of me. I love my baby but I SO CAN'T WAIT until he's not a BABY anymore!!!!

My sil is not helping matters any. Her exlusively breastfed baby who is just four months old is sleeping in 12 hour stretches in her OWN BED in her OWN ROOM. I am sofuckingjealous.

Grrrr... I may just have to eat him while his bones are still soft.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am ohsofuckingtired I can barely keep my eyes open. Phoenix SCREAMED from 2:30am to 8:30am. Pretty much straight. I'm not entirely sure what his problem is... he has a cold and is snuffly but I think it's more of the solid foods thing. We had been gradually introducing solids in very small amounts of very benign foods... apparently he's not capable still of eating anything other than breastmilk. I think I'll make an appointment with his doctor and see is there is anything else going on. So I made Jeff sleep in the bedroom with us and suffer through the noise as well. Why am I always the only one who has to deal with this shit?

I looked up the symptoms of a food intolerance and he has five of the seven signs. Runny nose and eyes, red around his anus, mucusy stools, gas and fussyness. He had some cucumber last night and some sweet potato's the night before and he's been miserable. I'm taking him off solids again for another week and then starting at the beginning. Some organic brown rice to begin. I am SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS!!!!

Babywearing

I wear the fiend on my back for a portion of every day. It's the only way I can get my housework done. I can vacuum, wash dishes, sweep, clean bathrooms (except the tub) and organize. He's happy. I'm happy that he's happy and all is well in the world.

I've been wearing him on my back with the shoulder straps crossed over my breasts. It would get uncomfy after an hour or so and he would have a tendancy to slip down on to my tailbone (not comfy.) But last night when perusing a friend (Babs) live journal I saw a link to wearing instructions... and a how to for a Tibetan carry http://www.babyhawk.com/pages/tibetan.php I love it! It's a back carry but then when you bring the straps around to the front you pass then under the shoulder straps and tie them on top of your chest... this works awsome for me because in just a simple rucksack carry the straps fall off my shoulders (hence having to cross them in front.)

So armed with this new knowledge I tossed Phoenix on my back, did the Tibetan tie and off we went. He didn't slip, my tailbone is intact and he was up there for over an hour (typical) but my back is not sore at all! And lugging a 22 lb infant around for an hour on your back is a great workout (right Babs? lol!)

*rubs eyes*

Don't let that sweet little face decieve you... this baby is sadistic.

He woke up from his nap yesterday (only a 1.5 hour nap and his first of the day) at 4pm. He went to bed at 1 am. 9 hours he was awake. And that was 9 hours that he whined, bitched, grumped and fought sleep. So you'd think that he would have slept well wouldn't you?

I hit the sack at 1:30am. He woke at 3:20. 5:20. 7:20. 8:20. 9:20. I got out of bed at 9:30am.

I was in bed for 8 hours. I am exhausted. A typical feed looks like this... he makes his "feed me" noises. Latch him on, attempt to pass out, he pulls off, whines, latch him on, attempt to pass out, he pulls off, whine, latch him on....

What is his problem! *shakes head*

The girls are snarky snarky today. The puppy refused to pee or poo when I took him out but them promptly shit on my floor and started eating it when I brought him back in. So he's back in his crate. The girls are doing puzzles (after fighting about them) and I am attempting to pretend my name is not mommy and I'm not here.

You ever have a day where the second you get out of bed you wish the day was already over?

Today.

For Lily

A bunch of really wonderful mama's have come together to help Kathryn and Baby Lily. Their whole family could use our support (both emotionally and financially) right now. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go buy some tickets to these raffles and do your part to make their lives just a bit easier.

http://hyenacart.com/Charity_raffles/

Thank you everyone!!!

stuffed

Blerg. I am stuffed. I think Jeff might be in the bathroom purging as we speak ;) I made a schwackload of french toast for dinner and man was it good! We had some leftover so Maddy's taking french toast sticks in her lunch... that and grapefruit.

Yes grapefruit. I've never liked it. I've always wanted to like it because the smell is intoxicating to me. It's a smell I'd love to eat... except I have always hated grapefruit. However superstore's special this payday was spend $175 and get a 14 lb box of Ruby Red grapefruit. Jeff convinced me to try a slice... oh my god. Manna from heaven! I love this stuff!!!! Maddy and Olivia both wanted to try and now Madeline is in love... Olivia thought it was good but sour. She still ate it though. Jeff juiced up a bunch and we all had some of that as well.

We slept in a bit, did some housework, lazed around and then went to the kids museum. We had a blast. I sent Jeff off by himself for some guy time (to great white) and the kids and I hung out. Phoenix had a great time with the wire bead toys and the rain sticks. He nursed through the Dinosaur movie and got to pet a snake. The girls were enthralled with the snakes! We played some tic tac toe, checked out all the animals and as usual made new friends. I love going there.

I think Rose and I have cleared the air over the bruised Madeline. Finally ;)

My mother is leaving to go back to work tomorrow. She's been home for over a week and we have not seen her. She's coming for lunch. I think I'll make Egg Salad.

Black eyes, goose eggs and broken noses...

Get that girl a helmet!

Maddy's doing better... after a week and a half her black eyes are starting to fade. Her goose bump is now brown and still very bumpish. Her nose is reduced in swelling and she's mostly out of pain. My poor baby :(

I wrote an email to Rose tonight letting her know that I don't blame Travis in this. That I know it was an accident but that we should also keep in mind it's not a "he said she said" thing. That a lunch monitor saw the whole thing and that we shouldn't keep trivializing Travis's role in this by telling madeline that she "slipped" or "tripped." Rose said tonight that she's "not taking sides" but there is really no sides to take! It's pretty black and white honestly. He hurt her by accident. Done deal. I understand that she's protective of him and going to choose his "side" because he's her grandchild but have a little compassion for a poor wee girl with a ginormous injury!

Loki's on the floor chewing up his brown bear. I just caught him eating my carpet... nice.

You know what?

I love glycerine suppositories. My baby hates them... but I love love love them. You know why I love them? Because they, in 10 minutes, make a baby that has NOT SHIT in almost 3 WEEKS, well... shit! Yayyyy for poo!!!!

The downside? Having to hold it in... oh blerg.

Phoenix is not compatible with eating. Solid food that is. He is eating just the tiniest bit of things but they are mega constipating him! Then it hurts to poo, so he does not poo, so it gets harder to poo, so he does not poo... the poo. IT WILL KILL YOU!

But he had 6 gloriously large poo's and he's getting back to a liquidy state. He's a much much happier baby now :) He even fell asleep on his own, in the bedroom, by himself! It was not intentional... I left him with his Winnie slumber sleeper and turned out the light so I could go pee. Next thing I know he's snoring!

So Jeff is cleaning his shop and destressing and I'm on the puter. Like normal ;)

I'm irritated

My kids are driving me crazy. Phoenix decided that 5am was a good time to be up... until 7am when I asked jeff if he thought Phoenix would shut up if he knew how perilously close to being chucked out the window he was.

I had 4 of Madeline's school mates and their moms over for a playdate today. It went... okay. Maddy was a bit whiney and would rather have sat and ate muffins, popcorn and raisens than play with her friends. That was a tad annoying. And then she'd whine that they didn't want to play with her. That was really annoying.

The reason I am so irritated is because of non napping Phoenix. He slept for about 40 minutes (less?) before Maddy and her friends woke him up. He was really tired around 4:45 so I went to nurse him down for a nap. Of course that is when the girls CRANK the tv and start jumping up and down and YELLING at one another. I damn near lost it. I stormed into the living room and told them both to get into their rooms. Of course by then Phoenix is wide awake and is still not sleeping...

Loki is still doing well. He's had some accidents but he IS a puppy after all. He's a bit nippier with the girls currently but if they'd LISTEN to me and STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE Loki wouldn't feel the need to herd them!

Well dinner is ready so I should sign off. Oven roasted organic whole chicken and roasted califlower and brocolli. Yummo!