:(

I'm not sure at which point sleep deprivation becomes torture... but from my own widespread studies (on myself of course) I think it takes about a month of being constantly wakened and getting absolutely NO rem sleep. Check the time of this entry. 4... AM.

Phoenix went to sleep at 9pm. Slept until 11:45ish. Nursed well. Crashed again. I went to bed just after 1am. He woke at 1:42am. I nursed him... I flipped him onto his tummy and he started to scream. And continued to whine and bitch and fuss and moan for the next hour. following the trend of EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS. I get into bed and within a fucking hour he's awake... and awake for the rest of the god damned night.

So with murderous thoughts in my mind I figured it was safer for him for me to give up any thought of sleep and just get up and suck it up and deal. So we've watched the end of 30 minute meals. Little Miracles, Birth Stories and now we're watching the Mom Show. Phoenix is sitting beside me on the couch having just nursed and is now chewing on his tiger tail. He is showing NO signs of sleepiness. I imagine that the whole half hour of sleep I got tonight already is all that I'll be getting for the night. Add that to the 45 minutes the night before and the 15 minute nap I got today and that's almost 1 1/2 hours in 48 hours! Sweet... oh fucking hell.

I have a dentist appointment in less than 5 hours. He's supposed to be finishing my root canal on my left hand bottom tooth but since my right bottom wisdom tooth has now inflicted the entire right half of my face and jaw with shooting pains, I'm hoping I can convince him that an extraction of that tooth is a better idea. Not that I'm into pain or anything but I'd love to get it out and get out of CONSTANT pain.

Wow I'm whiney this morning. I'm sorry.

In my next life I want to be a dad. Because dad's get to sleep. Because dad's get to lie in bed and pretend they are asleep until you take the baby and go away. Because dad's get to pull the "I don't have the tits" card whenever they want. Yep... sign me up for fatherhood.

It's really dark in here. I want to be sleeping. Nothing is going on in the net at this time of night. I'm tired.

Maddy has school today and Jeff has the day off (so really he should be helping me out here... I guess my sobbing cries did nothing to wake him). So after my dentist appointment we have to go grocery shopping and then hopefully I'll take some t3's and nap for a couple of hours. Then he has to work tomorrow and I get to go camp out in the ballet studio for a couple hours. That's always fun. Not. I have to remind Jeff to pay monthly and festival fee's for the girls. I wonder if they need to come in costume again? Eh. I'll just take it in case.

I wonder if the food thing is bothering him again? Maybe he just will never be able to eat and I'll have to nurse him until his wife takes over? Goody.

Robyn and the kids came over after preschool. We had a good visit despite the very moody Olivia. I mostly tried to just ignore her (Olivia... not Robyn...). It's always nice to have someone around who understands the depths of sleep deprivation.

Jeff went and helped Rose with her resume tonight. He loves doing resumes. He's strange. She was very appreciative and bought him a bottle of Bailey's, a shoe shine kit and a nice card. She also sent home a Valentines card for us and a cool puzzle (100 piece dino!) for the girls. It was a nice pick me up.

I made a very yummy stir fry with a Thai peanut sauce. I just winged it and used coconut milk, peanut butter, couple drops of hot sauce, sesame oil and soy sauce. It was yummy! I did brocolli, carrots, califlower and celery and tossed it all with flax rotini. I'm thinking soup for dinner for me tonight.

I really have nothing more to say but I'm bored so... hmmm...

Tired... but a new day :)

Phoenix slept like absolute crap last night... seeming to have tummy issues. So today I change a poopy diaper and it's green and chunky... wtf? Then I remember... when I was on antibiotics after he was born for my uterine infection his poop got green and chunky... the SAME ANTIBIOTIC. So psa... Keflex produces green and chunky poo in breastfed babies. It also gives them tummy aches.

Mystery solved.

I've only got 5 days of the stuff so hopefully he'll be better soon after that.

Today was parent observation day at ballet. So Phoenix and I watched Olivia for an hour and then Madeline for an hour. Both girls are doing wonderfully, were perfect listeners and both got comments and praise from both Tina (their teacher) and other parents on how they are naturals. That's my girls!

Jeff's at a meeting with a new web client. It's about a $1500 or so job so that would be nice at this time of year. The client is a pain in the ass to deal with (wants something specific, but won't tell him what... lol) but jeff has had dealings with him for almost 5 years. He usually turns to jeff whenver he has a new project to do.

The girls are watching cars. again. for the like 5th time. Thankfully I like the movie ;)

Jeff let me sleep in the morning. He took the babe at around 9:20 and let me sleep till 10:45. Heaven! Asleep ALONE in my bed! Only the second time that has happened in 6 months :)

Oh and fiend is 18.5 lbs now :)

lucky

Maddy had a much better day today. She was polite, respectful, could actually sit down for two seconds and I LOVED being around her. What a difference come down off the artificial dyes and sweeteners can do. My poor babe.

Olivia, phoenix and I slept until 10:30 this morning. Rather, Liv and I slept, Phoenix talked, kicked, played, grabbed me and tried to get me to wake up. I was rather sleepy as I had went to bed around 2am. He nursed about 6 times between 2am and 6am and then WAS UP FOR THE DAY. I'm tired.

We had a slow morning. Olivia actually ate a bowl of "mommy oatmeal" (real oatmeal as opposed to instant crap) and liked it! We played, watched some tv, olivia coloured and then we ate lunch. Jeff dropped us off at Maddy's school at 2:10 and we waited for Maddy to be finished. We walked home, had a snack, played... you get the idea.

Tonight we ordered supper from Domino's pizza as they were having a "dough raising" fundraiser to raise money for a new playground for Maddy's school. It was yummy. Our pizza had feta on it... mmmm... I LOVE feta.

After dinner we had a "family night movie" which we had planned for last night but the power going out kinda put that on hold. We bought the widescreen version of Cars (we had already seen it at the drive in and loved it!) so we stacked blankets and pillows on the floor, got some strawberry banana frozen yoguart and crashed. Maddy actually FELL ASLEEP about 20 minutes before the end (she usually does that when's she's coming down off of a reaction) and Jeff carried her to bed. Phoenix was fussy and drooly requiring teething tablets and multiple nursings. He's now (finally) in bed.

Jeff just cleaned the kitchen, mopped the floor and is now geekin out with his warhammer.

I balanced the budget today, finished my shopping lists and did my flylady stuff. Tomorrow is a 27 fling boogie for the bedroom.

I'm afraid that Phoenix is not getting his discovery dome for Christmas... having to buy a car seat kind of put a wrench in things. I don't want to take away from anyone else's pressies so we'll cut back at home. Hey! At least he'll be safe.

I'm excited about one of his gifts :) http://bebeloco.livejournal.com/ is making him a white and blue knit bunny ear hat! I can't wait to see it.

Oh and we got a package in the mail today from one of Jeff's cousins Sarah and her hubby Brad. They sent a gorgeous outfit for Phoenix... Old Navy light blue overalls and a cream coloured waffle wear long sleeved onesie. Stripedy long sleeved old navy shirts for the girls and playdoh as well! That was a very nice suprise :)

Well I'm off to have a nice, long bath. Cross fingers the fiend does not need to be boobed.